Caught in glare of exam headlights

In yet another sadistic turn, the MBA (Masters in Business Administration) programme managed to lull us into a false sense of…

In yet another sadistic turn, the MBA (Masters in Business Administration) programme managed to lull us into a false sense of luxury with the promise of a blissful three week break around the St Patrick's day holiday.

In the depths of the dreariest January and February on record, those three weeks stretched before us like a kind of reward for still being here. But as usual, and like everything else on this course, it just wasn't that simple.

Gradually it emerged that two elective subjects would be crammed into each of the first two weeks of the break. And any remaining time would be spent starting and with a bit of luck completing at least four projects.

Most people chose just one of the electives, leaving themselves two weeks for dedicated project work - a virtual lifetime by any MBA's reckoning. But funnily enough, as the third week draws to a close, few people seem to be done and dusted on the project front.

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A quick visit to the campus last week proved very depressing as classmates recounted their efforts so far. Of course an excursion of this nature was never going to have a happy outcome. The people you can identify with, as they struggle to achieve the Total Project Completion dream with just four remaining days, have that rabbit-caught-in-the-headlights stare. Just talking to them brings on early stage stress.

Then there are the masterful Time Managers, who will happily admit they have covered pretty much what they wanted to cover, and even had a little time left over for revision. Oh joy! Much as I have tried, as part of my personal development on this programme, to share these people's triumphs, I have to admit the greater part of me wants to rip their heads off.

It's nothing personal of course, but I secretly harboured a dream this course would make me a time-manager extraordinaire, and surprise, surprise, it hasn't. Instead it has made me adept at focusing on the end goal, and unceremoniously culling large swathes of information in order to get there. I expect this should be useful enough on the outside. That whole time-management thing is genetic anyway.

One of the gratifying things about doing the MBA at the moment is the realisation that at least you're learning while there's not much else happening in the world. Foot-and-mouth and teachers, sometimes it's hard to tell where one story ends and the other begins.

Even the Business School rose to its civic duties and laid down the obligatory disinfectant mat. Now that is the foot deterrent, but it's the mouth treatment I'm really looking forward to. I can think of a couple of candidates who could do with a really good gargle at the door before unleashing their bon mots on unsuspecting victims.

Tomorrow our illustrious Smurfit School of Business MBA rugby team drags itself away from the books, and flies to Duke University in the US to defend the MBA World Cup title it so valiantly won last year. That is, 15 other blokes won it last year, so it could be something of a poisoned chalice for these guys. Mind you, they did seem to train quite a lot, and there were some very convincing injuries sported last term.

A massive logistical effort went into finding sponsors and raising funds for the trip. For my own part a race night in Lansdowne Rugby Club was the crowning glory. I think these events could seriously threaten the likes of Cheltenham or Punchestown. You don't have to go outside to look at the horses, place bets or buy a drink, it all happens in one room.

Input costs are also minimal - you could run the film of the same seven races every day for four days - and at a pound a pint people still wouldn't remember who had won the last time round. In fact the more I think of it, the more it sounds like the Galway races. I knew there was a budding entrepreneur in here bursting to get out, the question now is whether it's just the one, or if there are others.

Anyway, best of luck to the Smurfs in defending their title, although I have my doubts about how much gravitas can be attached to a team named after a bunch of cute, blue, cartoon figures. No doubt they will be greatly aided in their efforts by the Smurfettes - yes, the ladies' rugby team! Most of this brave crew took up rugby for the first time last September, and will be slogging it out on US soil for the ladies world cup title.

So as we slip into the home stretch, I recognise that vacant look on most people's faces. It's the one hiding the suppressed I've-had-enough-of-this feeling. Last term was very much about taking a macro view of business and its machinations, and learning about basic tools for guiding elements of strategy. The amount of theory on the minutiae of corporate strategy and policy implementation is nothing short of breathtaking. But people are getting edgy now. They want to see if their new toys work in the real world.

Perhaps, more importantly, many have given up good salaries and cars to devote themselves to this course. No matter how much they all know in their hearts this course has benefited them, their darkest hours tell them there might be no good jobs left in the world when they finally finish. That is a very great worry, on top of eight exams, a host of term projects, and a final thesis. Imagine coming all this way, and suddenly thinking there was nothing at the end of it?

Madeleine Lyons can be contacted at lyons@ireland.com. The next MBA Diary will appear after the exams on Monday, May 21st.

Madeleine Lyons

Madeleine Lyons

Madeleine Lyons is Food & Drink Editor of The Irish Times