Entrepreneurs want a partner to stimulate them intellectually - and someone to organise a home, social life and family, writes Luke Johnson

What do you need to marry an entrepreneur? Beauty? Wealth? Intelligence? Perhaps all three - but more than anything you should possess the virtue of tolerance.

By their nature, empire builders are obsessives who focus relentlessly on their careers. They feel they have a mission to create. And something in life normally has to give. That means a partner must be accommodating: willing to sacrifice almost everything for the business and willing to put up with the ego of their ambitious other half.

Moreover, most entrepreneurs are never satisfied: "just enough" is not a concept that appeals to them. So all too often, once a target has been met, new challenges are set. This can take its toll on a relationship.

Of course, this lust for glory is part of their appeal in the first place. No one marries an entrepreneur expecting them to be a pushover. But someone who is boss of all they survey can carry on barking out orders when they get home.

Sometimes business owners partner their spouse to build a company. There is even a word for them - "copreneurs". Gordon and the late Anita Roddick of the Body Shop are the classic example. Often a married couple can make a formidable team: living and working together, dreaming and striving night and day to develop an enterprise.

This combination means bringing up a family can be quite a strain, but the self-employed tend to have high levels of energy and are good at coping. Another interesting set-up is where each partner is an entrepreneur but they run different companies - for instance, Christian Rucker of homewares firm The White Company and Nick Wheeler of clothing company Charles Tyrwhitt. They have four children: life must be fairly hectic in their home. At least such partners know how entrepreneurs think and behave.

For some entrepreneurs it makes sense to marry later. By that time they have achieved a certain amount of material success and are probably searching for more balance in their lives.

There is less pressure to work 100-hour weeks and prove themselves to the world. I know one mightily successful financial services entrepreneur who settled down and had two children in his late 40s, and now concentrates on travel, yoga and growing trees. He still competes, but since he made a fortune by the age of 40, money is no longer the principal objective.

The wealthy, mature entrepreneur must clearly beware of gold diggers. This squalid breed has existed since time immemorial. Traditionally they were glamorous, unscrupulous women who used their looks to ensnare men of substance. I once tried to persuade a high-flying acquaintance not to marry a gold digger. He ignored my advice and, of course, his wife ostracised me completely. After only a few years they went through a very public divorce, which cost him several million pounds and a lot of legal fees - a painful lesson.

Entrepreneurs can have unrealistic expectations of their personal life. Their self-confidence can be so overpowering that they see their domestic situation as an extension of the office.

They might want a partner to stimulate them intellectually - but they probably also want someone to organise a home, social life and family. They want a supportive listener who lets them make decisions - but they also like to be impressed. This can lead to mismatches and dashed expectations. Certain entrepreneurs deliberately marry achievers from a different sphere - the arts, public service, media - because they want an equal but not a competitor.

There is no remarkable formula that leads to happiness and an enduring relationship. Human emotions mean that someone who is only ever rational in commercial affairs can still be blind to the obvious pitfalls when in love. Somehow, that trait is more endearing than the idea of a money-making machine who cannot even get carried away in affairs of the heart.