The rapid growth of viral games suggests the slacker generation has entered middle management. Working hard is so last year writes Richard Gillis.
Viral games, passed around via e-mail, are the very definition of a complete waste of time. They also form part of one of the fastest growing industries in the world: revenues from online creative content across Europe will reach €8.3 billion by 2010, according to a recent EU study. These two points might tell us something about what people are doing at work - nothing.
When it comes to work avoidance, my personal hero remains a former work colleague called George, the most quietly subversive person I've ever met.
In the hotel where we worked he had a reputation as a grafter, to the extent he'd survived several staffing culls. I bought in to this received wisdom, until one morning I opened a broom cupboard to find George standing in it.
Then he offered me a piece of advice which I wrote down and still have: "Always carry a tea towel". If you are carrying a tea towel, people think you are on you're way to cleaning something up, or are on you're way back from cleaning something up. Simple, elegant, timeless.
Transposed to today's business environment, carrying a tea towel means "looking at a laptop". Technology was meant to deliver the paperless office. In reality it has brought us something more fundamental: the workless office. Nobody is doing anything, we are all just waiting for e-mail.
The existence of viral games are another confirmation of our dependency. On any given weekday, me and everyone I know spends their working day in a state that can be best described as semi-present. Physically we exist, but we're not really there. Our whole being is just waiting for a little envelope to appear in the corner of our screen.
It's important to note that playing viral games only takes place on company time. Anyone who plays them at home is not being subversive, they're just lonely. In the pleasure vacuum of the office however, any suggestion of fun is amplified by the context, like giggling in church.
Like all great entertainment genres, the viral game has been ransacked by the marketing industry. The corporate takeover is a sure sign that the lovable collection of odd balls and delinquents, the warped minds behind classics such as Alien Homid or Smack the Penguin, are now sitting in glass buildings working on behalf of soft drink conglomerates or building societies seeking a way to get in with the kids.
One example, by the makers of J2O, the not quite orange juice drink favoured by recovering alcoholics and pregnant women, shows what happens when games go bad.
J2O Toilet Training won awards a year or two back. Players were encouraged to aim the white cross inside the toilet bowl and "keep your trainers dry". Make a mistake and you had to down a J2O orange drink, geddit?
Now, unfortunately, there are thousands of similar branded games doing the rounds.It's the end of an era, the life has been sucked out of the skiving game.
Top five time wasting viral games
Alien Hominid www.newgrounds.com/ portal/view.php?id=59593
Colourful and loud Flash animation game. Involves moving a yellow "being" sideways to avoid being shot by the FBI. Hugely popular with young, poorly supervised first jobbers.
Time wasting potential: 5/10
Motherload www.miniclip.com/ motherload.htm
New, incredibly immersive game that seems to have been designed by ex-miners. The aim is to use your digger to excavate as much ore as possible to earn money to dig deeper. To master this game requires a great deal of time and probably a degree in geology.
Time wasting potential: 8/10
Typer Shark www.popcap.com/ gamepopup.php?theGame =typershark
It seems that playing games whilst skiving off work is great for intellectual slackers too. The instructions for this include the sentence: type the words on the side of a shark, then zap them.
Time wasting potential: 6/10
Yeti Sports www.yetisports.org/
A classic of the genre, one of the most popular viral games ever. "Smack the Penguin" has spawned endless sequels. No hidden layers here, just try and belt a penguin as far as you can with a big club.
Time wasting potential: 4/10
Spooks www.bbc.co.uk/drama/ spooks/games/index.shtml
Award-winning series of games to promote the BBC's hit spy drama. It requires a fair bit of thought and more time than those not on a freelance contract can justify. Would suit someone working in the corner of a large office. But beware the reflection from the window as winter evenings draw in.
Time wasting potential: 9/10
