Cents & Nonsense: Scene: fluffy, white clouds, a tall man with a flowing white beard sits on a golden throne. His winged adviser stands before him, listening intently.

The Almighty:Heaven is very crowded with souls these days. (Sighs.) That singing is driving me mad! Can we please get the choir angels to do something more productive?

Minion:They are very talented singers, my lord. St Peter and you invited them to heaven and gave them very favourable terms and conditions.

The Almighty:Yes, but the competitive environment has changed. Nobody wants to hear that kind of music any more. There must be something else they can do!

Minion:(Takes out rolled parchment and feather quill). Hmm. Their only other option - membership of the Flying Angels team - is not really feasible. They'd need extensive retraining and they'd have to be fitted out with the new wing technology.

The Almighty:Well, something has to change. The cost of running this place is staggering. Between creating new clouds for the souls and painting the sunrise and sunset . . .

Minion:There may be another way. Perhaps you might consider moving some angel activities to a lower cost location, like limbo (L)?

The Almighty:Shhhh. Nobody talks about that place anymore.

Minion: Exactly. Very few people are willing to go back to that region so the facilities are pretty cheap. In the heaven (H) region you have high costs and highly-developed souls. In the L region there are low costs and less-developed souls. Also, limbo suffered a serious "wing drain" to heaven a few years back so we'd be doing them a big favour.

The Almighty:I'd worry about sending fully matured souls to live among all those low-skilled babies. It might cause an imbalance of celestial power in the regions.

Minion:Not at all! We'll keep the highly-skilled tasks in the H region and outsource all the menial stuff (singing, guardian duties, cloud maintenance). New entrants to the afterlife will be given the new limbo contract. It has fewer benefits (can't see the face of the Almighty) and no guarantees (might be stuck there forever). Older souls will be offered a voluntary redundancy deal.

After six months off in the clouds, they can get their original job back but they'll become a temporary limbo worker rather than an employee of heaven. For us, it means lower costs and higher profits.

The Almighty:I'm running out of options. Some of our competitors can reincarnate when they have too may souls. We don't have that choice. We need more space and funding for research and development so we can stay ahead of the other deities.

Minion:My lord, I'm afraid that downsizing heaven may be the only way. Quality might be an issue though. I'm not sure the workers in limbo have the skills needed to maintain our high standards.

The Almighty:Do you really think anybody cares about the detail of a cloud or the thousands of colours needed for a sunset? They are too busy to appreciate it. And, our greatest innovation - the heavenly vision - is regularly dismissed as a hallucination. As if the human brain could create such magnificence, or horror, on its own! (Snorts.)

Minion:It'll be quite difficult telling some of the angels that they are not needed any more. They really put you on a pedestal and they absolutely delight in satisfying the needs of our customers on Earth. You couldn't ask for better employees.

The Almighty:Yes, they have brought us to where we are today. It's unfortunate but what else can we do? How can we get your idea past the angels' union?

Minion:Show them a vision of what might happen if we don't try the limbo plan - long queues of unemployed angels, cherubim and seraphim.

The Almighty:Yes, that would be a public relations disaster for them. I'm sure they'll see reason. Everyone knows that the competition for souls is really heating up on Earth and, unless we boost efficiencies and focus our energies, we are headed for disaster.

Minion:What about the shareholders?

The Almighty:Oh, yes. Are they still waiting outside for an announcement?

Minion:Yes, the archangels are looking for the annual report on the heavenly coffers.

The Almighty:Okay, time to announce that we are outsourcing angels to limbo. How do you think they will react?

Minion:The shareholders love you and they enjoy bathing in your reflected glory. Beware though; they only think of themselves. Archangels have no loyalty and, if you don't deliver to the bottom line, they'll turn on you. Remember what happened the last time?

The Almighty:How could I forget? They created a whole new region called hell. I'd better tread carefully.

• Margaret E. Ward is a journalist specialising in personal finance and consumer issues. She is also a director of Clear Ink, the Clear English Specialists.