DISPLACED IN MULLINGAR:ON JUNE 28th a man and a woman were married in Ballintubber Abbey, Co Mayo. She wore a white gown and veil. Her black hair fell in long tresses; she was as beautiful as a princess in a medieval fairytale.

Her groom was tall and strong; an athletic type who probably climbs mountains. All the guests were scrubbed to perfection. There were heads of radiant blonde hair; bare backs painted in alluring tones of tan; teenagers in their first pair of high heels and tight, pink bodices that they couldn’t quite get used to, and were constantly re-adjusting; men in suits and sunglasses.

Long ago, pilgrims would have rested for a night in Ballintubber Abbey, and prayed for good weather, as they headed out to climb Croagh Patrick. But June 28th was a warm day. The chapel was agreeably cool, and the ancient stone oratory resonated with the sound of violins.

The bride was so beautiful that when the groom turned to gaze upon her at the altar he began to weep, and then she too cried, as they exchanged their vows, and then half the guests began fumbling with tissues and handkerchiefs, so that there seemed to be more tears falling than would fill a bucket that some ancient monk might have carried from the well to his washing room, before breakfast.

When the ceremony was over, the newly married couple went to an old house on the shores of Lough Corrib, that was once owned by a gamekeeper on the Ashford Castle estate, and there they made merry with their guests. At breakfast on the morrow, everyone marvelled at the succulent black puddings, and toast that was folded into napkins to keep it warm.

And rather than bother with honeymoons, or international airports, the couple hired a large lake bus, and took their guests out to an island on Lough Corrib.

The captain of the boat, who was admired by all the ladies for his striking good looks, brought a glass of wine to the bride and a glass of stout to the groom, and the groom told other guests that it was certainly the most magnificent stout he had ever imbibed.

On the shore of the island, beneath the tall scotch pines, and the hazel and the willow trees, the party made a fire and cooked beef, and a great feast began, in the shade of the trees.

People talked of the fine black puddings at breakfast, and the fine-looking captain, and where in that wilderness one might go to the loo, in tranquillity, without being bitten by insects.

Then someone announced that there were monastic ruins at the centre of the island, and the party headed through the jungle and came to a clearing where two stone oratories stood aloof. They walked around the ancient ruins, stood on the walls, took many photographs and wondered what monks might have looked like, hundreds of years ago.

They returned to the shoreline, where they ate chocolate cakes and puddings, and drank wine. Stout men in suits, little ladies in straw hats, sophisticated men with English accents, grandmothers, cousins, and young women in bikinis, all chatted away, as they sat in random clusters along the pier, reflecting on the beauty of the bride and the groom, who were holding hands in the shade of the hazel trees.

The boat returned to the mainland at sunset, over the same waters that a prince of Wales may once have admired, in 1905, when he was bored with his stamp collection. The same waters’ lapping waves were a comfort to Thomas Nevin, when he returned from the Great War, and went to live alone on the island, for most of the rest of his life.

The boat returned across the same waters that locals once rowed regularly on Sunday afternoons, to listen to football matches on Thomas Nevin’s wireless. But no one looked back, or thought any more about biting insects or the faces of ancient monks, and when the party returned to the quayside, there were thunderclouds over the gamekeeper’s house.

On the following morning, the black pudding came as expected, and the toast was folded in linen napkins as usual, to keep it warm. The lake was hidden in a soft blanket of drizzle, but everyone agreed that the couple had, overall, been blessed with the weather.