With the advent of the Gooseberries, Ireland now has its own awards to honour low standards in the entertainment business. Kevin Courtneyon the acts we love to hate.
YOU'VE heard of the Raspberries, that annual celebration of bad cinema that hands out gongs to Hollywood's worst movies and actors. Well, make a big, rasping sound for the Gooseberries, a new celebration of all that is awful about Irish entertainment and media.
We've been patting ourselves on the back for our many achievements in the fields of music, movies, stage and TV, but amid the cacophony of self-congratulation, a lone, dissenting voice has emerged, and it's making a noise somewhere between a sneer and a Guinness belch. With its rallying cry of "havin' the craic at the worst", the awards aim to restore begrudgery to its rightful place in Irish culture.
The Gooseberry Awards will take place in Dublin's Sugar Club on January 10th, when awards will be handed out in such categories as Worst Irish Act of 2007, Worst Irish Movie of 2007, Worst Irish TV Host of 2007 and (gulp!) worst Irish Journalist of 2007.
The people behind the Gooseberries are hoping that some of the winners will take it all in good spirit and come along to collect their awards. After all, Halle Berry went to the Raspberry Awards to collect her "Razzie"; what's to stop some of our top celebs from popping by the Sugar Club to pick up their "Goosie"?
"It's an antidote to all the tedious, boring awards that we seem to be lashing out each year," explains Oisín Davis, the Sugar Club's manager and one of the three masterminds behind the Gooseberries.
"We have too many awards for such a small country," says Davis. "Most of them are just excuses to push a corporate brand. Even the internet is clogged up with awards. I've been 13 years in the business and seen so much sycophancy. This is just a light-hearted way of poking fun at all the other awards."
And who are the nominees for this first annual begrudge-fest? While Davis and his cohorts could make up a nominee list with their eyes closed, they've actually left it to the public to choose who gets to be pilloried on the Sugar Club stage.
THE NOMINEES: MUSIC
In the music categories, that quartet with stools glued to their bums, , have no less than three nominations. Neck and neck with the Celtic crooners is the Hibernian Hobbit himself, Paddy Casey. Close behind is Casey's hero and mentor, Glen Hansard, who is nominated in both the movie and music category, for his film Once and for his band The Frames.
THE NOMINEES: BROADCASTING
But the clear frontrunner in this battle of the bores is Pat Kenny, who is nominated as Worst TV Personality and Worst Radio DJ, while The Late Late Show is in the running for Worst Irish Television Programme. According to Davis, Kenny is the man you should be putting money on at Paddy Power, since he's emerging as the nation's clear least favourite.
THE NOMINEES: PEOPLE
Other well-known personalities who have been nominated for Goosies include Andrea Corr, Gerry Ryan, Damien Rice, Seoige & O'Shea, Tony Fenton and Phil Coulter. Surprisingly, Daniel O'Donnell doesn't feature, and nor do Twink, Joe Dolan, Linda Martin, Ryan Tubridy or Louis Walsh; but, as Davis explains, that's just the way the Marietta crumbles. Better luck next year, eh, guys?
VOTING
Although the nominations are all in, narrowed down to three in each category, there's still time to vote for Ireland's most unwanted. Just visit the website www.the
elevator.ie and cast your online vote by January 9th. Then get your gladrags on, pick up your bag of overripe tomatoes, and get ready for a night of razzle dazzle, as Clint Velour, a man who knows his cheese, hosts the first Gooseberry awards ceremony.
The Gooseberry Awards are at the Sugar Club on January 10th, next Thursday. Admission is free, but numbers are limited. If you are nominated, however, a VIP spot is guaranteed. Vote at www.theelevator.ie. Voting closes January 9th.
