What's the story with this new European currency - the euro isn't it?The euro it is. For a long time it looked like it was going to be called the ecu, but the Germans thought that sounded too French. And the French thought that the "euro-mark" was too Teutonic. So they settled on the euro and it'll be launched next January 1st. And we're well set to be in from day one.

I hear all these economists arguing about it. But what will it really mean for me?

If you're tired of listening to economists arguing with each other, you ain't heard nothing yet. By late spring they'll be in full flow on the subject. But all this heat will do little enough to enlighten the likes of you. Already people are a bit suspicious that the whole thing will turn into the greatest rip-off since the change-over to decimal currency. Anyone over the age of 35 remembers that.

So it'll be like the switch from pounds, shillings and pence?

That changeover back in 1971 - to what we old-timers called the "new money" at the time - was simple, compared to what's ahead this time. Even though the euro will be hatched next January, we won't actually get the notes and coins into our hands until the start of 2002. Decimalisation was a sprint. This'll be a three-year marathon.

Hold on a second. You mean for three years the euro will be our currency, but we won't be able to spend it in the shops? "You cannot be serious!"

Indeed I am. Irish notes and coins will stay in our pockets up to 2002, and then they will circulate alongside euros for around six months, before finally disappearing.

Sounds like a recipe for chaos . . .

I know. Shops will have to price products in both euros and pounds for a while in 2002 and operate two tills. So if you thought the change to decimal currency was complicated. . . OK. But that's still four years away. What happens from next January?

When you're falling around at midnight on New Year's Eve singing Auld Lang Syne, the pound's value will be set in stone against the currencies of all the countries that are joining. The pound may be set at 2.41 deutschmarks, and that will be it for ever. So next winter when you're in front of the fire looking longingly through the holiday brochures, you won't have to worry about what your pound will buy by the time you head off to the Black Forest or the Italian Alps. But the Greeks won't join from the start - so goodness knows how much ouzo your pound will buy.

And will we still be charged through the nose by the banks for changing pounds into deutschmarks or French francs, or whatever?

No, the good news is that it will be cheaper right away to change pounds into the currency of other member states. The banks will still charge a handling fee - how much has not yet been decided. But they won't take a further whack by buying the currency from you at one rate and selling it back to you at another, as they do at the moment.

It will still cost the same, of course, to change pounds into sterling, or US dollars, or the currency of any exotic Asian country you might choose for the holidays. Once euro notes and coins come out in 2002, you won't need to change money at all when travelling to other single currency members.

But will I actually be able to use euros from next January?

Sure. But only for paper transactions. For example, you could ask your bank to change your account into euros - although there would be little point in doing this immediately, unless you want to flaunt your credentials as a euro-fan. And you could even pay your tax or phone bills in euros, but only big companies are likely to opt for that.

But the use of euros will develop in other ways. Those who travel regularly might use euro credit cards. Euro cheque books will also be available. The only problem is that the bank clearing systems across Europe are not linked up yet. So it may be a while before you can send off a normal cheque, drawn on a bank here, to pay for something on the Continent.

So we won't quite be shopping across Europe?

It's a nice idea, all right. One thing is that you'll be able to compare the price of items in euros across Europe. And in some cases people may order from abroad and pay in euros by credit cards, if they can find a good deal. But all this will take a while to develop, and to be honest no one is quite sure how quickly the new currency will catch on.

By the way, if someone comes up with a secure system of "shop and pay" on the Internet, then you could stroll with your electronic euro purse down a virtual shopping street in Paris in the morning and Milan in the afternoon. But Grafton Street may still be cheaper and handier for most things.

And what about my finances?

Well, if you fancy a German mortgage or a French life insurance policy, the risk on losing out from exchange rate moves will disappear. More likely, the increased competition and the level of interest rates across Europe will mean that Irish banks will offer mortgages on the same terms as overseas institutions.

And because of this competition and the way financial markets will change, banks will offer us increasingly longer-term mortgages at fixed interest rates. If you want, you will be able to lock in repayments at a certain level for the entire term of a 25-year mortgage. And forget those periodic interest rate scares. European insurance companies may also look for your business. You might have your life insured in Berlin and your house in Paris.

And what about my mortgage rate?

You and your mortgage! Interest rates here will fall over the next few months, that's for sure. They should drop by 1.5 to 2 percentage points, quite a significant amount. But this will, of course, be bad news for savers. And goodness knows what it will do to house prices.

And where else will the euro pop up?

All over the place. Many big companies will switch all their accounts and dealings straight away. So even small firms who deal with big companies may have to find a way of trading in euros.

Some companies will even start paying their staff in the new currency. If they do, your bank will still change it back into pounds if you want, until 2002 anyhow. But you might end up haggling with the boss for a extra few euro. And he may offer a few more cents. There'll be a hundred of those to each euro, by the way.

Interesting. What else?

If you fancy a dabble in the stock market, share prices will also be quoted in euros, although your friendly broker will probably still accept payment in pounds. And I'm sure you'll be deeply concerned that the national debt will switch into the new currency.

Come 2002, of course, everything will be done in euros. And even before that, if it all works, euros will be part of everyday life.

What do you mean, "if it works"???!!!

Our political lords and masters assure us that it will. But they'll have a few sleepless nights about the whole thing yet.