It had to happen. Over the past few years, we have become used to the notion of an LP “dropping” unexpectedly on astonished punters. Bowie did it. So did Beyoncé.
Early this year, only a few weeks before the release of 10 Cloverfield Lane, JJ Abrams announced the existence of that quasi-sequel to Cloverfield. Crafty, crafty fellow. Mr Abrams and his Bad Robot crew – who were clearly laying breadcrumbs for alert observers – now "drop" a high-profile release straight into the laps of astonished Star Wars fans.
They would do well to show their gratitude. An extraordinarily odd project, mixing new material with ancient outtakes, the film offers enthusiasts everything they didn’t know they wanted.
Jar-Jar Binks is back to redeem himself. Hat Things of the Western Kingdom shout angrily as pebbles are mildly disturbed on Star Wars Island. Boba Fett is revealed to be Jabba the Hutt’s illegitimate nephew. Princess Leia loses a leg in the final five minutes.
And everywhere you look, there are Ewoks. Taking its cue from the undervalued Star Wars Holiday Special, the film-makers encourage the bloodthirsty beasts towards exponentially fabulous displays of terpsichorean excess. The juddering pogo to Peter Brötzmann's Machine Gun is extraordinary. The mutation of An American in Paris into An Ewok on Tatooine exhibits as much cunning as it does uninhibited feeling. Steve Binder, the veteran director, has - to paraphrase Star Wars' most unavoidable gift to the language – boldly gone where no film-maker has gone before.
So how do we get to where we eventually end up? It seems that Ewok of Ages is intended to be "canon". There are references to the "parallel universe" novel Star Wars: Cruellest Month, Day One, but the story - making occasional flashbacks to the original trilogy -- positions itself firmly between The Force Awakens and the upcoming Episode VIII.
Shattered after the various deaths and traumas, Rey (Daisy Ridley) and General Leia (Carrie Fisher) decide to take a holiday on the planet Lafropiol. Within minutes of landing, they are captured by a band of Ewoks and taken to their lair for a ceremonial feast. The women are forced to entertain the guests. Leia tells us story from the old days and – courtesy of outtakes from Return of the Jedi – we see her racing across whatever planet it was on hover-bikes. Rey takes to the matted stage with an array of unexpected guests: Jar Jar, Yoda, Jabba, Boromir, Yaxley, Zebedee, Orinoco, Godfrey, Bagpuss. Meanwhile, our two heroes plot their escape.
Comfortably passing the Bechdel Test, fired up with antic energy, the picture constitutes the oddest, most playful subversion of expectations we have seen since Lars Von Trier's Sail Proof Lady in 2005. Ewok of Ages is unstoppably mischievous in its attitude to semi-sacred material, but the proto-earthly intensity of the sub-Monostrovian narrative remains visibly, uncomfortably stratified.
Like Von Trier’s film, it receives the rare, full constellation of stars. Given the nature of the project, this could hardly be more appropriate.