Directed by Chris Gorak. Starring Emile Hirsch, Olivia Thirlby, Max Minghella, Rachael Taylor, Joel Kinnaman, Veronika Ozerova 12A cert, general release, 89 min
THERE’S A moment in this so-so Moscow-set alien invasion flick that hints at what might have been. By now, we’ve watched the lights in the sky descend to earth as balls of electromagnetic energy. By now they’ve disintegrated every organism they touch and destroyed the Russian capital if not the world. And by now we’re sick to the back teeth of the survivors we’ve been lumbered with.
What a gyp. Here we are hanging out with dull American internet entrepreneurs (Emile Hirsch and Max Minghella), a boring Aussie photographer (Rachael Taylor) and her catatonic assistant (Olivia Thirlby), and an evil Swedish guy (Joel Kinnaman) who leaves his female companion behind as he escapes the marauding extra- terrestrial hordes. All the while the makers of this film have known about the Russian badasses who ultimately join forces with the cowering tourists in an effort to outwit the glowing invaders.
Why haven't we been watching that movie all along? Why haven't we been watching a movie about the surly Russian girl (Veronika Ozerova) and the scientist with a Faraday cage? Why haven't we been charging around with the infinitely cooler makeshift militia group? Why hasn't this been more like one of producer Timur Bekmambetov's ( Nightwatch, Wanted) high-octane adventures with blinged-out Muscovites?
Had we been watching that movie, we might have glossed over the final, hilarious glimpses of the alien life forms – get back in the glowing balls, fellahs – and the yellow-pack dialogue. We might even have stopped trying to picture Emile Hirsch in Into the Wild and wondering where it all went wrong.
But a disaster flick is only as good as its survivors. Barring the evil Swedish dude,
The Darkest Hour's non-Russian contingent is frustratingly nondescript. Their continuing survival proves more of an affront than a blessing. If their creators didn't care about the details, then why should we? Go, alien menace, go.