Directed by Sergio G Sánchez. Starring Naomi Watts, Ewan McGregor, Tom Holland, Samuel Joslin, Oaklee Pendergast, Geraldine Chaplin 12A cert, general release, 113 mins

The tragic Indian Ocean earthquake of 2004 is translated into a crass marriage of white man’s burden and “holidays from hell” in this surprisingly incompetent drama from the director of The Orphanage.

Naomi Watts and newcomer Tom Holland put in solid performances as, respectively, a Spanish (though – huh? — played as British) mother and son caught up in the chaos of a tsunami. These are small positives in a grander mess.

Sadly, the bigger picture is, literally and figuratively, lost as The Impossible zooms in on One Family’s Story. Sergio Sánchez’ screenplay has no place to go in the aftermath of the disaster. We’re left watching dad (Ewan McGregor in one of his weakest Salmon Fishing in Yemen-y performances) wandering around rubble as he seeks out his wife and three children. It’s like an excursion to a landfill without the fun of running vermin.

We’re supposed to feel confused and sad because that’s how Fernando Velázquez’ boot-in-the-face score tells us how to feel. Watts gives good trembling bottom lip as the injured mother, and young Holland puts in a valiant attempt to turn the material into Empire of the Sun.

Ultimately, however, The Impossible couldn’t be less subtle if it drowned a bag of kittens onscreen. And then another bag. And another. The feel-good finale is a ghastly final insult.

This is not the movie that victims of this tragedy deserve. It’s not a movie that anyone with a brain deserves.