Much coverage has been given to the recent Sun poll which revealed that three out of four British people believe Princess Diana's holiday with Dodi al-Fayed on his luxury yacht has had no effect on the British royal family's image. Only 21 per cent thought their public display of affection was bad for the royals. Nearly half also thought Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles should be completely open about their relationship.

The less well publicised results of the poll are as follows.

Seven per cent of those polled said they became physically ill every time they heard the word "relationship". Twenty-three per cent thought the word "image" was an equally powerful emetic. Nine per cent asked if there was such a thing as a yacht which was not a luxury yacht.

Fifteen per cent of the poll, all of them single women, wanted to know if Dodi had any unmarried brothers. Three unmarried men asked the same question.

Eleven people asked if Dodi was Dodi's real name or a pet name. Three women asked if Diana disliked being called Di, and if she called Dodi "Do"; if they eventually got married would Dodi say "I do, Di" and Diana respond "I do, Do"? One man asked if it was true that Dodi had a twin brother Ditto.

Sixty men asked how one went about becoming an international playboy. Seven wanted to know the cubic capacity of the yacht's diesel engine. A mother of five asked if there were any children on board. Three young women were interested in learning what sun lotion brand and factor Diana used.

Four weekend dinghy enthusiasts demanded to know what sailing qualifications, if any, Dodi possessed. A nine-year-old boy insisted the yacht was not displaying the proper insignia for a visiting craft in international waters. One person asked the price of fame, in dollars. Right. I have some advance information on the Irish Times poll currently being carried out on Dana's bid for the Irish Presidency. This poll was designed to see how much people knew about their potential new President.

Responding to the bilingual question "Who is Dana/Ce h-i Dana?", 62 per cent correctly identified her as a former Eurovision Song Contest winner, though 31 people gave the date of her win as 1790 instead of 1970. Twenty-two per cent confused her with Danoli (for whom 43 people said they would vote), and 14 per cent with Daniel. Twenty-nine people thought she was either Scary Spice or Posh Spice.

Asked where Dana currently resides, only five per cent correctly identified Alabama. Fifty-eight per cent think she still lives in Derry (where she is "active behind the scenes"). Thirty-two people are certain she works in Calcutta with Mother Teresa. Two women claimed to have seen her baking wholemeal bread in the kitchen of the Cistercian monastery in Glenstal. One man is adamant he regularly sees her playing the slot machines in Caesar's Palace, Las Vegas.

Asked if they thought Dana was a representative of the Catholic Right, most people appeared to misunderstand the question. "She's a Catholic, right?" was the most common response. Five people wanted to know if there was any Catholic Left, one if there were any Catholics left.

Halfway through the poll, Fintan O'Toole's article on Dana's candidacy was published, and some further questions were quickly appended. Not one person correctly recalled the recommended retail price of a bottle of Cidona in 1970 (one shilling and three-pence).

Fifty-seven people saw no reason at all why the twist could not be danced to a techno beat. Wishing wells and wedding bells were considered by 74 per cent to be a perfectly acceptable rhyming couplet. Twenty-three per cent believed that Knocknagow is a factual account of Irish life in the last century ("Sure isn't there a pub called after Matt the Thresher himself?").

As for Michael, Row the Boat Ashore and Cumbaya, these were not necessarily at the leading edge of pop culture, according to 43 per cent, but that was no bad thing "so long as they were not forgotten." (twenty-nine per cent). Eighty-one per cent agreed that the church had alienated intellectuals, and two-thirds of these expressed a clear preference for the aliens.

Times Square will resume on September 4th