The young person's guide to becoming a pop star: Be cute. Be sexy. Be called something catchy. Better still b*witch Louis Walsh. But, if you really want your face in Smash Hits and your posterior in Prada, for goodness sake be Irish.
Some of the brightest pop stories this year have emanated from these shores. B*Witched smashed the belief that no Irish girl band could make it big. The Corrs had even more success with their own brand of sham rock while Boyzone just kept on tripping the light poptastic.
Pundits put it down to Irish charm and the culmination of the inspiration of one man. Credit (or blame depending on what turns your stereo on) is due to Louis Walsh who created Boyzone five years ago. His vision coincided with a worldwide move away from angst-ridden rock to frothy pop.
Now, instead of every Irish music outfit wanting to be the next U2, they want to be the next Boyzone. Or B*Witched. Or the Corrs.
Where U2 lugged gear around and played fleapits as an apprenticeship, these boys and girls did their time miming at roadshows, being discovered in audition halls or doing "impromptu" showcases in the plush surroundings of top record companies.
B*Witched's instantly successful arrival on planet pop this year owes much to a Boyzone connection that has nothing to do with the fact that two of them are sisters of the fab five's Shane Lynch.
Boyzone manager Louis Walsh tipped off the UK hit-maker Ray Hedges (who had penned some of Take That's early stuff and all of Boyzone's debut material) about the Dublin girls.
Mr Hedges, a man with a nose for what makes pop pickers tick, wrote B*Witched's first album, including the infectious smash hit C'Est La Vie. The success of subsequent singles Rollercoaster and To You I Belong enabled them to become the first Irish act to have three number one singles in a row in the UK.
The eponymously named B*Witched album has sold almost one million copies and created a new brand of music called, with what one hopes is a certain amount of tongue in cheek, Celtic hip-hop pop. Meanwhile, Boyzone's number one Where We Belong album has spawned three top five hit singles.
Louis Walsh is quick to point out that for every successful Irish band, Celtpop's lonely highway is littered with fading memories and shattered dreams. Irish girl bands FAB and Chill hit the ground running and boy bands such as OTT, NV and Only Us have spent the year in a pop twilight zone somewhere between wannabe and has been. Kerri Anne, the bland attempt at an Irish version of ex-Eternal popstrel Louise, has had two Irish hits and will try her luck in the UK next month. Walsh's own project, the Carter Twins, also flopped this year but "at least they have each other", he says in a voice not exactly loaded with sympathy.
The year has also seen a flood of pop programmes on TV. RTE has Popscene, the Chart Show, the Beat Box and 2Phat while TV3 shows the Pepsi Chart Show and Pop on 3. Fast-talking Pop on 3 presenter Darragh Purcell gives his take on the success of Irish acts:
"They have a charisma, an accessibility, a degree of naivety, and they all look well. They also have a certain amount of charm and Irish traits that make them likeable," he says. He is less enamoured of The Corrs who, he thinks, are a cynically marketed band with "the odd bodhran thrown in".
One of the highlights of the year for The Corrs, who are unique in the Irish pop world in that they play their own instruments and write some of the songs, was their sell-out gig on St Patrick's Day at London's Albert Hall. Radio 2 got behind the band and the UK began to wake up to the merits of their brand of lite trad rock. Next year it will be America's turn, with record industry insiders predicting that if all goes to plan they could become one of the biggest Irish bands ever.
In fact, The Corrs are already so huge ("Manager John Hughes has done a fantastic job with them," says Walsh) that pesky journalists asking pesky questions about record sales and chart positions are not at all well received by their record company. That is very confidential information, we were told, when, after a week of unanswered calls, a spokesperson was reached.
RELENTING, they revealed that their album Talk on Corners had been a hit in every country in the world this year except the US. Every country in the world? Well, every country in Europe, they added frostily. Things went downhill from there. Suffice to say that the cleverly packaged Corrs - whose record has gone three times platinum in the UK (but that's confidential) - have charmed everyone from Shankill to Seville this year. A feat evidentially beyond personnel at their record company.
Looking ahead to successors to Boyzone as the kings of Irish pop, the smart money is on Westside to make it big in 1999. Not only are they being groomed for stardom by Louis Walsh and Ronan Keating, but these five boys - three from Sligo and two from Dublin - can really sing. Other prospects include boy bands Reel and My Town. And Mr Walsh has his eye out for an Irish Mariah Carey or an Irish boy-girl Abba-type combo.
Remember. Be cute. Be sexy. Be Irish. And instead of singing into the hairbrush - mime.
