His name is Johnno, and he is the greatest manager in the west. Of course, we've known that for years in Ballaghaderreen. But you won't find us shouting it from the rooftops.
We've a cathedral. It has a 150-foot neo-Gothic cut-stone spire. Why bother with rooftops when you have something like that? Though it can get uncomfortable up there, clinging to the metal cross.
Not that Johnno would want such acclaim. He is a modest man. Reserved about his achievements. The deep silent type. A gentleman. Except when it comes to cards. No other man has achieved what he has in Gaelic football. No one else has brought three counties - Mayo, Leitrim, and Galway - to provincial titles and two of them, Mayo and now Galway, to All-Irelands. Even Mick O'Dwyer has only brought two county teams to All-Irelands, Kerry and that other county.
At the moment on the Square in Ballaghaderreen we have "Good Luck John O" written in large anorexic lettering on a massive hoarding. And draped between third-floor windows at St Nathy's College is another large banner reading "Good Luck John". Johnno, who lives across from there, went to school there, and is a teacher of history and geography there.
But every great man has his flaws and Johnno is no exception. Cards. He is one of a group of eight, sometimes nine, would-be sharks who meet in each other's homes from October to April each year. "We usually finish on Good Friday, but there's never any agreement," one source said.
By some accounts, Johnno cuts a pathetic figure at these sessions. "Useless" was one of the more charitable comments. Usually they play 25, but occasionally it's Auction 15. His losses at this but above all his dogged determination to keep going anyway ("such character in adversity") have brought tears to grown men's eyes.
Moves are now afoot to have him coached by more experienced bluffers such as Frankeen Kelly and Brian Tansey. When it comes to pulling the wool over people's eyes at cards, these two men make Linda Tripp look like Monica Lewinsky's bosom buddy.
But in the past year, Johnno has gone to the dogs altogether. In fact, it was through him the card sharks, now syndicate, bought two hounds from Donie Carroll of Croom, Co Limerick. The investment is an attempt by each to make up for all the losses incurred over the past 15 years or so.
And so Banada Pearl (the pearl bit is in honour of Paul McGrath) and Ballagh Trump have been residing at a safe house in the wastelands near Ballaghaderreen at a place called Banada.
A source close to the dogs explained that they would continue to reside at their current retreat "until Galway win the All-Ireland". There was an anxious pause before he added: "I hope it will be this year." The plan then is that the dogs will be taken to Monivea in Galway for finishing school before being launched on their brilliant careers. Members of the syndicate have revealed, however, that Johnno is being kept in the dark about most matters relating to the hounds of Banada.
"He's too open with the press," complained one man bitterly, fearful that too much transparency about the dogs' form would only mean more losses to add to those already there.
Meanwhile, everyone in Ballaghaderreen is hoping this will be Johnno's year. That at long last, and after all the valiant effort down the years, fortune will smile on him and crown his many achievements with an All-Ireland victory. It would be a fitting end, if end it be, to a great managerial career. And a fine compensation for all the disappointment en route. There has been much of that.
Some of us in the town have also started a collection to buy a book for Charlie McCreevy. We remember he said when his county beat Kerry to qualify for the All-Ireland that it was "better than sex". We hope to buy him The Joy of Sex by the appropriately named Dr Alex Comfort, as we believe he will need it after tomorrow.
