Green Card with fake homosexuals, the latest frontal lobotomy from Adam Sandler should, in theory, offer even decent right-thinking liberals the odd guilty pleasure.

Sandler and Kevin James play two flatulently straight fireman who, in order to secure certain benefits granted to gay couples, travel to Canada and embark upon a civil partnership. Stalked by a characteristically rodent-like Steve Buscemi, the lads are forced to listen to Boy George, ostentatiously squeeze one another's buttocks and ensure that only "gay trash" finds its way into their bin.

It would, surely, take somebody as pathologically unfunny as Rob Schneider to extract all the potential humour from such a scenario. Oh no! Look who it is. A third of the way through this useless picture, the perennially unwelcome comic turns up to demonstrate that the only thing more offensive than Rob dressed as himself is Rob dressed as a comedy Asian.

It hardly matters. By this stage, it's clear that Chuck and Larry is never going to take off. Oddly, though the film is hardly sophisticated in its attitude to homosexuality, it is its fanatical determination to reach out to gays that drags it down. The first hour of this lengthy comedy finds the heroes invoking mildly offensive stereotypes. The remaining time is taken up with demonstrating that homosexuals can be just as brave, loyal and good-humoured as their straight neighbours.

How Alexander Payne, director of Sideways, allowed his name to appear among the writers of such a witless farrago is beyond me. It's like encountering Picasso's signature on a bucket of pigswill.