EOIN BUTLER's guide to singles, downloads and free audiostreams

THE CAST OF CHEERS

Derp****

Not since Kildare metallers The State Pathologist Dr John Harbison were frightening the horses a decade ago have an Irish band boasted as cool (and potentially misleading) a moniker as The Cast of Cheers. The indie outfit support Super Extra Bonus Party at the Andrews Lane Theatre in Dublin next Friday. www.myspace.com/thecastofcheers

BLACK EYED PEAS

Rock that body Interscope*

Even from a band who have taken chart insipidness to new levels over the past decade, Rock That Body is still something of a nadir for Black Eyed Peas. Are the band members actually competing to see who can pack the most moronic dance-pop clichés into this song? It certainly sounds like it.

LADY GA GA FEATURING BEYONCE

Telephone Interscope***

Harpsichord intro aside, this is as brassy an affair as you’d expect from a collaboration between these two ladies. Originally written for Britney Spear, Telephone is taken from Lady Gaga’s The Fame Monster album.

CHERYL COLE

Parachute Fascination **

“I don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you.” Suggested video treatment: Cheryl is at the cargo door of an airplane, serenading a very fat man sunbathing below in the park. Come on, it works in cartoons!

LEONA LEWIS

I Got YouSyco**

You can tell a singer is well on the road to divahood when she prefaces everything with either a soulful “Uuuummmmm” or a bonkers “Wooaaaoooaaaoohh!” Leona’s latest video is a montage of human pain and suffering, interspersed with shots of the singer writhing around in her penthouse suite, offering the afflicted vague promises of salvation. Good Lord, it took Michael Jackson years to become this delusional!