Relish that yummy fry, Rihanna, says AILBHE MALONE

TRACK OF THE WEEK: Bad Girls by M.I.A

M.I.A is back, back, back, and as everyone who watched Madonna's incredible Super Bowl performance at the weekend saw, she's brought her 'tude with her. Catchy, aggressive and off-kilter, Bad Girlsis vintage M.I.A. Opening with the infectious "Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well" hook and coupled with a video centred on illegal Saudi drag-racing, it's M.I.A by numbers – in the best possible way.

* And now, another instalment of Meals of the Stars, this time featuring Rihanna. Due to all her time off and having fun, she's been having a sore head in the mornings. Fear not, the Sunhas the answer. They claim she's a fan of the Full English Breakfast. "She's been cooking the full works – eggs, bacon, beans and Cumberland sausages," they say. "The grub has been helping her and her pals get over sore heads the morning after they've been clubbing. Rihanna thinks it's the best hangover cure by far." While we'd never question how much Rihanna likes baked beans (who doesn't?), we'd ask her to maybe include a little white pudding next time, and perhaps some Ballymaloe Relish – just so she knows what she's missing.

* Noel Gallagher's gone all grumpy again. It's the state of modern music, man – he's had enough of it. Speaking to the Mail on Sunday, he decided that things were better in the 1980s. "Under Thatcher, who ruled us with an iron rod, great art was made. Amazing designers and musicians. Acid house was born. Very colourful and progressive. It was a different mindset back then."

Not only that, but he pities modern singers. “I feel sorry for girls in the music industry,” he sighed. “They do have a very short shelf life. For instance, Duffy: who? Gone. She was massive. And I don’t doubt for a second that the same thing will happen to Adele.”

We wouldn’t dare posit that all this mouthing off is to drum up publicity during a lull in his band’s publicity campaign. Not in a million years.