Shirley Temple Bar
What's on your rider?I can't go on stage unless I've had two bottles of Buckfast and a packet of Tayto.
What would be on your fantasy rider?A crate of Buckfast, bath salts from the Head Shop, Jedward and a stunt double who'd get on there and do the hard work so I wouldn't have to.
What's your pre-gig ritual/ routine?I spend about half an hour searching through my laundry basket for a clean pair of tights before I lash on the glitter eye-shadow and tumble on to the stage.
What's the best gig you've been to?Myself and 30 of Ireland's most famous homosexuals went to see Kylie Minogue in Paris a few years back. I don't remember anything. Best. Gig. Ever!
And the worst?Myself and 20 of Ireland's most famous homosexuals went to see Whitney Houston at the O2 in April. She couldn't remember anything. But even that wasn't as horrifying as The Carter Twins gig I saw in the 1990s. My ears bled.
What's your crowd-pleasing number?They seem to love it when I hurt myself.
What's the most you've ever paid for a gig ticket?I once performed unspeakable acts to get a free ticket to Take That in Wembley.
Groupies. Would you?How do you think I met Mark Owen?
How big is your entourage?Excluding security, the fella from the head shop and the woman who carries my sunglasses, about 60.
Do you like to meet and greet fans after the gig?No. I'm sweaty and barely lucid. Who knows who I might score?
Any useful stage tips?Bum in, tits out, face forward and you can't go wrong.
What's the worst thing ever thrown at you?The truth.
If you could be in any other band, which one?I have the looks to be in Pussycat Dolls, the style to be in Girls Aloud and the talent to be in B*Witched, but personally I'd rather be in Westlife. Any of them.
Who's invited to your aftershow party?My healer, my dealer and my favourite freewheelers.
- In conversation with Tony Clayton-Lea. Shirley Temple Bar's electronic bingo show takes place Sundays at 9pm at The George, Nth Great George's St, Dublin. See thegeorge.ie
