For Ashleigh Kirkwood of Coláiste Chiaráin in Leixlip, Co Kildare, transition year didn't go as well as she had hoped

It's difficult for me to talk and write about my transition year experience, because I know it's not easy for others to understand. Unlike many people in transition year, I didn't spend my time doing an alternative curriculum, learning about car maintenance or doing work experience. I spent a year living in a fishing village called Sabinillas, in Spain. An idyllic experience, you would think. It was an opportunity to learn about a new culture and a new language. It seemed like a dream experience, but unfortunately for me, it shattered in my hands, cutting me every time I tried to escape.

I suppose I should start from the beginning. It was originally my idea to go to Spain for the year. What a great opportunity to escape boring, dull, wet and rainy Ireland for somewhere a bit more promising, full of new experiences. Or so I thought.

I started my experience at Las Vinas, the local secondary school. I wanted to be submerged into my new Spanish lifestyle. I had gone with absolutely no Spanish, and the language was a definite barrier. Little did I realise what being submerged meant.

I had no idea that I'd lose myself in a feeling of not understanding what was happening around me. Without being able to hold conversations, I became increasingly introverted. I dreaded break times, and I often went into the bathroom and just sat in a cubicle, willing time to go past. I didn't want anyone to know I was so alone.

Every day was a battle, so after only four months I dropped out of school. This was the start of a downward spiral. I started to feel as if I was losing control. The effort of doing nothing seemed to overwhelm me, and the simple things in life perplexed me.

I started to spend a lot of time around my parents and their friends, because I felt too mature for my friends back home.

Things are different now that I'm home. I feel the benefits of my time away, and I understand what is really important in life.

This may seem crazy after all I have said about the experience, but that year in Spain taught me so much more than a textbook ever could.

The poet Elizabeth Bishop wrote: "Think of the long trip home. Should we have stayed at home and thought of here?" Despite everything that happened, I don't think so: life isn't simply a poem that ends with a rhyme.