Shuffle

Eoin Butler 's guide to singles, downloads and free audiostreams.

Eoin Butler's guide to singles, downloads and free audiostreams.

GERALDINE MCQUEEN
Once Upon a Christmas Time
Universal ***

Can anyone stop The X Factorkaraoke conveyor belt from claiming a fourth consecutive Christmas No 1? Peter Kay and Gary Barlow lead the chase with this spoof effort, to be released the same day. But there are also a couple of other long-shot contenders. Among them:

JOSH WELLER
It's Christmas and I Hate You
Rough Trade **

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"Merry Christmas babe, I think I hate you/A little bit more than last year." No doubt Josh and the annoying woman he duets with here (sounds suspiciously like Kate Nash, no?) view this track as a sort of hipster updating of Fairytale of New York. It isn't.

LOW
Santa's Coming Over
Sub Pop ***

The kids in the video look absolutely petrified - and who can blame them? The Duluth trio have a history of Christmas- themed releases, but I don't think they've ever done anything quite this weird before. If you want to frighten the bejaysus out of your children this holiday season, look no further.

STEPHEN COLBERT & ELVIS COSTELLO
Much Worse Things to Believe In
www.colbertnation.com   ****

Not strictly a contender for the top spot, but I'm including it anyway. A Colbert Christmas, Stephen Colbert's US TV special, features a host of memorable moments, from Willie Nelson's reefer-themed Christmas carol ( Let Not Mankind Bogart Love) to Jon Stewart's creditably tuneful paean to religious diversity ( Can I Interest You in Chanukah?). But the true highlight is arguably this sappy duet with Elvis Costello. From a comedian who specialises in hard-nosed satire, it's surprisingly heartwarming.

STATUS QUO
It's Christmas Time
UMTV *

The Quo's 75th single is also their first ever seasonal offering. With lyrics that allude to the relentless march of time ("Funny, but it seems like yesterday/I put that tinsel away"), the aging boogie-woogie merchants appear to implicitly acknowledge their own ultimate mortality. Ho ho ho!