Ireland's staging of the Special Olympics has come and gone, but did it change attitudes? It seems there's no place in the workplace for people like my daughter, writes Diane Quillinan
I have thought many times of putting pen to paper but I have always changed my mind, feeling that there would be no point. Now, after many years of frustration and disappointment, I feel that I have to speak out, even if no one listens.
I feel very angry at times and sad at how life is for my daughter Jan and how it could be made so much better so easily. How can I get people who aren't touched by her type of difficulties to empathise, to understand and to act? How can I get people to stop for a minute in their busy lives and learn compassion for those less capable than themselves? Is it possible? I don't even know where to begin.
The European Year of People with Disabilities (2003) came and went. Fine. That same year, Ireland's hosting of the Special Olympics came and went. Fine. Did they really have much impact? Have people forgotten already? Do they know that not just those few people who took part, but thousands more are out there struggling to find some sort of niche in life?
And please don't throw this in the bin just because I mentioned disability, thinking, "Oh no! here we go again someone else on a 'soap-box'."
My daughter is in her mid-20s, and recently was doing work experience,which she loved. This was unpaid work for one of our major retail stores. She stayed on longer than her agreed period of time (eight weeks extended to 14), in the hope that she might get even two hours a week paid employment at minimum wage (ie approx €16). She was very eager and excited at the prospect of being employed.
Alas, this was not to be. The manager didn't have a job to offer her and once again my daughter was let go. Once again she was devastated. Her self-confidence and esteem are shattered and I really feel that someone should know how it is for her and others like her. For this work experience of two hours unpaid employment per week, she travelled 50 miles, by two means of public transport, to and from the job, it was so important to her.
I am sure that most companies in Ireland could afford to absorb the costs, because what it would mean is, these people feeling worthwhile, feeling that they are of some value. I wish I had some power to make people sit up and listen and not the people who are already empathic, but everyone else.
I am so grateful to those people who have spent their careers working with the service-providers for the people less well equipped in this country. I can't thank them enough for the care, patience and kindness they give continually to parents and clients. I have been very lucky with the services that I have accessed, although finding the most appropriate one wasn't always easy, and their resources are limited, I know they do the very best they can.
I think that maybe I need to outline what exactly my daughter's disabilities are. She isn't physically disabled. She has mild intellectual impairment, mild mental handicap, or whatever term is politically correct these days. She is unfortunate enough to know she is not "normal". She knows she doesn't fit in.
Sometimes she is a child trapped in an adult's body and sometimes she is a very clever girl trapped inside a body and mind that won't allow her to express herself. She gets understandably angry and frustrated. What is so sad is that all she wants in the world is to be "normal". Hopefully one day she herself and others will accept her for how she is. She copes extremely well with the cards she was dealt, but sometimes not so well. Her concentration and attention span isn't great, but her reading and writing skills are improving all the time - the very important things she can read are menus and the TV page. She has a very dry wit and could talk the hind legs off a donkey. She watches the news and knows everything that is going on in the world.
The past 10 years have been extremely difficult for her, because as she grew up she fitted in less and less and the gap widened. She is very articulate and is full of bravado. Given a chance, she could do great things. My daughter has many abilities and disabilities, given the opportunity there are lots of things she could do and learn to do better.
I remember a few years ago at Heuston Station seeing the Proclamation on the wall, a declaration of independence: "The Republic guarantees religious and civil liberty, equal rights and equal opportunities to all its citizens". I remember thinking, 'What a joke!' Now I think that is very sad, here we are nearly a century on, and I wonder is there any such thing as equality or equal rights. The Celtic Tiger really passed certain sections of the community by.
There is no expectation there that my daughter or others like her will have full-time employment, partly because I don't really think that she would have the ability to stay focused.
Part-time, regular, paid work, would make these people's worlds an awful lot brighter. In fact it would be invaluable.
dianequillinan@eircom.net