THIS book has been widely hyped as a ground breaking study, clearly argued and extensively researched, which manages to span the divide between psychological science and pop psychology. Goleman's argument is that traditional IQ scores are far too narrow a measure of intelligence, and miss a whole range of abilities that matter immensely in life and success. In fact, he says, IQ scores have little or no connection with emotional intelligence, which is a catch all term which includes such important attributes as self awareness, impulse control, persistence, self motivation, empathy and social deftness. All these qualities, we understand, mark people who excel in relationships and at work. They are the qualities we used to call character, self discipline, altruism and compassion.
Emotional intelligence does not seem to be fixed at birth, Goleman says. The way emotions are handled in childhood actually alters the brain's circuitry, and Goleman shows with many examples how it can be nurtured and strengthened, within our own personal thinking, in the home, in the school and the workplace. On the other hand, those of us who remain emotionally deficient suffer a whole range of problems, including physical illness. In children, problems appear in eating disorders and depression. Abuse warps empathy. Experiencing terror and helplessness leads to an actual alteration in brain chemistry. Subsequently, stress hormones are too readily and too often secreted the so called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
However, healing can occur. Children heal by repeating the trauma in games. In adults it is harder, but there are three stages to healing firstly, attaining a sense of safety secondly, by going over the trauma again and again and mourning the losses that the trauma incurred thirdly, re establishing normal life. The message is "Even the most deeply implanted habits of the heart learned in childhood can be reshaped. Emotional learning is lifelong".
The emotionally intelligent do, or can learn to do, a number of things. They can recognise feelings and verbalise them. In decision making, they do not allow feelings to rule thoughts. With negative feelings like anger and rage, they can sense the hurt behind them. They can handle stress through exercise, relaxation, etc. They can empathise with others. They communicate clearly. They also tend to be self accepting, self disclosing and committed.
At the other extreme, the worst we do with children is to ignore their feelings or treat them as trivial, or by being too lax, thus allowing extreme expression of feeling, or by bribing them to keep quiet. Schools, Goleman argues, should engage in emotional literacy programmes to "help students turn moments of personal crisis into emotional competence". Indeed, they even help children academically as well. And, most interestingly, children in deprived urban areas can be helped, says the author, but there is too little on this.
Goleman says "I take emotion to refer to a feeling and its distinctive thoughts, psychological and biological states, and range of propensities to act." Some primitive emotions are immediate, activated from the "amygdala", far faster than the rational or choosing mind. In our prehistory we had to react in microseconds to avoid danger. Teaching emotional intelligence is all about introducing just enough delay to allow one to scan the crisis and react appropriately.
This book has a tireless American optimism positive thinking, the pursuit of excellence, winning, which the global economy demands. The sub text is that if you fail you have only yourself to blame. 96022000064
