No, mate, no. It's 1998 not 1988. You want to get that seen to. You'll be getting lost on the way home next.

The calendar might say it's 1998 but the Taste-O-Meter says the 1980s revival is in full swing and Boy George is leading the vanguard.

No, I'm sorry, but it's all too much. First it was the 1970s revival - flares and progressive rock - but the 1980s is a decade too far.

Well, it's unfortunate that you feel that way, given the arrival of greatest hits packages from 1980s stalwarts Duran Duran and Culture Club, and an upcoming Dublin concert featuring ABC, the Human League and Culture Club themselves on December 3rd.

Bloody hell, I thought they were all dead. At least it's not Kajagoogoo, Go West and A Flock of Seagulls.

"Reasons to be Cheerful", to borrow an 1980s song title from Ian Dury.

Very clever. I don't mind Culture Club or ABC, but the Human League? They couldn't even sing, and their lead singer looked like he'd had a panic attack at the hairdresser's.

It is true that their live performance on Channel Four's The Tube in the late 1980s left something to be desired.

Like a tune.

Indeed.

Still, Boy George must be getting a bit old for this game. What is he now, 50?

Boy George, born George Alan O'Dowd to Irish parents, is actually 37, although he's compressed a lot of living into those years. At 23, he became Cosmopolitan magazine's first male "cover girl". After a string of No 1 hits, he took his first Ecstasy tablet in 1985, and within a year had progressed through hash, valium and cocaine to freebasing heroin. In 1986, the body of American songwriter Michael Rudetski turned up dead of a self-inflicted heroin overdose in the singer's house, leading to suspicions that either the drugs or his housekeeper had to go. I seem to recall his love life was somewhat complicated as well.

This is true. George's autobiography, Take It Like A Man, named singer Kirk Brandon as one of his lovers. "Sleeping with Kirk wasn't sex, it was absolute love," recalled George. Brandon, who appears to have been somewhat confused about the matter, didn't recall it quite the same way, and sued unsuccessfully.

George also confessed to feelings for U2's Larry Mullen jnr. "I really fancy the drummer from U2," he once said. "I'll stay home with him any night." Larry's views on the matter are unrecorded, but George's feelings are unlikely to have been reciprocated.

Brings a whole new meaning to Mysterious Ways, doesn't it?

Quite. In 1993, a woman in the US tried to claim George was the father of her seven-year-old son. "I have never penetrated a woman in my life, so it is unlikely to be me," announced George to an audience of bemused Marylebone magistrates.

Still, be nice to see George in the flesh. How much are the tickets for the Dublin gig?

£23.50 - unfortunately, it's only the music that's nostalgic.