Blindness is a spectrum and I have been on this spectrum since the day I was born. However, I only lost my sight entirely a few months ago.
A series of unfortunate events has left me playing a guessing game in many areas of my life. Are the lights on? Is the sun still out (shout out to the fine stretch making this game a bit easier!), and is this chicken fully cooked? Please note it is advised to seek the help of a sighted person or a meat thermometer when playing this last round.
As a professional blind person (meaning I have been blind my whole life), there are certainly many aspects which I find frustrating. Of course, not being able to see the sun or my friends’ and family’s faces is incredibly difficult, but this is no surprise to you.
Instead, I wanted to highlight the less-talked-about obstacles that come with being blind.
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Many people assume it is the inability to drive that would push me over the edge, and while this is definitely not ideal, it is something I have never expected to be able to do therefore the concept of having the ability to get in a car and take myself somewhere just does not occur to me.
What does drive (excuse the pun) me up the wall, however, is how frequently I misplace items.
I’m not talking about temporarily losing your keys – I’m talking about putting something down and it disappears into the atmosphere never to be found again. I live my life through touch, so if I am not concentrating and I randomly put something down without thinking about where exactly I am leaving it then I can forget about ever finding it on my own.
[ Bobbie Hickey: ‘I may be blind, but this could happen to anyone’ ]
I have often turned the house upside down in an attempt to find my lip balm, only to have a sighted person arrive and find it within 30 seconds after conducting a quick “scan” of the room – way to rub it in!
It may seem trivial, and indeed sometimes it is amusing, but there is more to it then just the lost belonging. I am an independent person who prides herself on making my own way in the world, so when I am unable to do something as simple as find my lip balm it sends me over the edge.
I am able to cook a three-course meal for multiple people, but I can’t find my lip balm.
Whether I like it or not, there are just some tasks that are made easier by asking for help, and I have come to terms with this over the years, but there are times that I just want to find it on my own.
Suddenly, this lost lip balm has turned into an identity crisis.
Of course, there are other aspects to being blind that are less than ideal. I would love to be able to do my own nails, for example. I am aware there are plenty of sighted people who also don’t have the ability to produce a French tip, but the difference is that practice makes perfect, and if you set aside some time then the reality is that you would get better. I simply do not have the choice to practice.
In the last year I have lost most of my vision, so there are a few practical things that I am getting used to – not least of which is not being able to decipher if the lights are on or off. It sounds crazy, but in the days following the total sight loss, I was caught by surprise when I flicked a switch and saw no difference.
Sometimes the best will in the world won’t resolve a problem, and these are often small, seemingly insignificant tasks like a French tip
Although I have been legally blind my entire life, I was taking the act of seeing the lights for granted. This inability to tell if the lights are on or off is very inconvenient. I suppose it doesn’t really make a difference to me – I will happily make dinner in total darkness, but I have been told it is disconcerting to come home and find me mid stir fry without any lights on.
On the other hand though, I’m saving lots of money on electricity.
In my experience, people who do not have disabilities, or sighted people with other disabilities, are often taken by surprise when I fill them in on my challenges.
Like many things in life, being blind or having a disability in general is a multilayered concept. Where there is a will there is a way, but in some cases the best will in the world will not resolve a problem, and these problems are often small, seemingly insignificant tasks like a French tip.
I am often asked if I encounter patronising tones and behaviours, and, in all honesty, what is more prevalent is fear. People are terrified of the unknown. My hope by sharing this real-life piece is that next time a fearful thought comes across your mind regarding disability, you will remember that we too face issues that are so abstract that often times they are not what others would assume them to be.
The easiest way of overcoming fear is to immerse yourself in it, and to avoid avoiding the fearful topic – ask the questions, engage in the conversation and open yourself up to learning new things.
We have all heard the phrase “never judge a book by its cover” and this could not be more true when it comes to the disabled community. I would be lost without the kindness and patience of the people around me.
It is free to say hello and it pays to be nice.
