Don't make a meal out of home dining, says Edel Morgan

MOST OF us have one, many of us devote whole rooms to them and although they take up a lot of space, there are households that use them less than a handful of times a year. Yet we continue to cling to the ideal.

For many of us dining tables are a symbol of family togetherness - we feel we should own one, we know we should sit around it regularly and take the time to eat dinner en famille - but in reality how many of us do it?

In my house the kitchen counter has usurped the dining table as the place we congregate at meal times. At the end of a busy day, the counter is less formal than a table, doesn't require much setting, the swivel stools are more fun and less confining for a toddler and the counter is at the same level as our one-year-old's high chair. Also, it's easier to grab things from the cupboards as you need them (which in our bijou kitchen involves slightly extending an arm).

Meanwhile the dining table is shoved up against the wall, taking up valuable space in one of the reception rooms of our semi-d. It's got rubber safety corners on it so no-one impales themselves on its sharp edges. Its only real purpose - apart from being hauled out for dinner at Christmas and New Year and the occasional dinner party - is as a den, somewhere for the kids to escape beneath when they swipe the TV remote control or one of our mobile phones and we are in hot pursuit.

If we got rid of it, the room would appear infinitely bigger, but somehow we're not quite ready to do it. There is always the lurking thought: "What if we are suddenly inundated by guests or decide to throw an impromptu dinner party? What if our children grow up with no table manners or grasp of cutlery etiquette? And will they become delinquents because we've ripped the heart out of their home and deprived them of somewhere to do their finger painting?

As for the dedicated diningroom, which according to a survey by Halifax Home Insurance in the UK, will be extinct by 2020, was there ever a less efficient use of space? It's one thing if you live in a sprawling pile with lots of rooms but we've all been to fairly modestly proportioned houses where the diningroom lies in state until Christmas or the next cocktail party in 2010.

Without that cumbersome piece of furniture in the middle of the room, it could be in regular use as a chill-out zone, a library or a toy room. Then you see the same people extending upwards and outwards to get more space. But is that insistence on having a diningroom out of habit? Or because they're still captivated by the allure of the diningroom, which for many people retains an irresistible air of formality, and importance?

With smaller high density developments now the norm, and apartments being the most common type of new home, more people dine in open-plan kitchen/breakfastrooms. A look through myhome.ie however will confirm that for older houses of three bedrooms and larger, the diningroom still looms large.

For those who buy a house and decide to go the dining table route, a bit of soul searching is required. Are you more of a low key four to six seater type, or are you popular enough to fill an eight or 10 seater? Do you dream of a big rustic number or a heavy antique table (space allowing) and associated accoutrements such as drinks cabinet and crystal decanters. Or are you more about compromise with a low key drop-leaf or a space saving number with wedge seats you can push underneath?

When you get one, the dilemma is how to adorn it: a bowl of fruit? Dried flowers? Floating candles? Or is bare best? How do you keep children from taking swipes at the table decoration. Or ultimately would life be far simpler without one?