Tom Doorley is underwhelmed by the seafood restaurant at a Dublin hotel
My memories of the last time I ate at the Conrad hotel, in Dublin, a few years ago, are very clear. This is not because the food was very poor - although it was - but because the evening had a surreal dimension. It started with the realisation that the pianist Radu Lupu, whose mug was adorning a large poster at the National Concert Hall, over the road, is the spit of the late Fr Michael Cleary. It continued with a fellow guest being carted off in an ambulance - something that happens in even the best-regulated establishments - and continued with the food. I remember thinking that if you had enough of the deep-fried plaice you could use it for decking. I also remember thinking of the late Dowager Lady Powerscourt, who travelled by private ambulance in the 1960s. She always startled fellow lunchers at the Shelbourne by barking out, at the end of her meals: "Waiter! Call me an ambulance!" Ah, that was Dublin in the rare old times.
Alex, the Conrad's seafood restaurant, is a great improvement on what went before, but our lunch was hardly €140 well spent. It may cost this much to produce the grub, run the restaurant and turn a modest profit, but the result doesn't justify the cost. Incidentally, within a few days of having lunch here I was told that Alex was due to have a new chef. He is fully installed by now. I just hope that he avoids the pitfalls that marred our lunch: tendencies to oversalt and overcook.
Alex is very proud of its modern take on prawn cocktail, and I can see why. Four of the largest and most flavoursome Dublin Bay prawns I've ever seen or tasted sat in a kind of hip bath atop some good salad that had a touch of sesame oil in the dressing. The Marie Rose sauce was served on the side (and possibly needed a touch more Worcester sauce).
Our other starter was a risotto. An awful lot of risottos are doing the rounds, and they present two problems. First, surprisingly few chefs know how to make a real risotto (many sharing Delia's view that it can be baked). Second, some use flavourings that should never come near risotto. One I encountered in Dublin recently featured mango and tiger prawns. I had to pinch myself. Our Alex risotto was of brown shrimp, the sort that usually gets potted with clarified butter, which had the virtue of being unusual without being completely daft. It even had a slice of potted shrimp on top. It was an adequate dish, too salty and perhaps a smidgen too mushy, but the distinctive shrimp flavour came through.
When our main courses arrived, two small fillets of turbot had been cremated to the point where they resembled leather - and not the sort that makes gloves. This was the leather of hobnailed boots. These unhappy pieces of fish had no flavour to speak of, apart from an abundance of salt. There was also a rather lumpen rösti potato and a few clams steamed with finely chopped fennel. This was a dish that simply prompted the question: why? Lemon sole, on the other hand, looked overcooked, being thoroughly browned on the outside, but it had been snatched from the jaws of dryness with a few seconds to spare. Were it not for the overpowering taste of salt, it would have been fine, although the beurre blanc with snipped chives, which came in a little jug, was no great shakes. Waxy new potatoes and baby asparagus spears completed the picture.
The bread was not as fresh as the morning dew, and the double espressos were so long that they tasted more like Americanos. Espresso drinkers are more interested in the coffee than the water.
With a bottle of white Crozes-Hermitage and two large bottles of mineral water, the bill came to €132.40 before service.
tdoorley@irish-times.ie
Alex, Conrad Dublin, Earlsfort Terrace, Dublin 2, 01-6028900
WINE CHOICE "Old vines ageing to a fabulous richness, complexity to the medium/full bodied red." Was this note, referring to the delicious Camparo Barbera (€30), translated by Google? What the hell does it mean? And the heading "Burgundy: Cotes du Rhône" suggests difficulty differentiating elbows from elsewhere. Our Crozes-Hermitage Les Meysonniers (€36) from Chapoutier was crisp, peachy and perfectly nice. Cuvée Mondie (€29), a pleasant vin du pays, is outrageously overpriced; it sells for €17.50 close by. Best buys would seem to be de Wetshof Chardonnay (€27) and Wynns Coonawarra Riesling (€31). L'Abeille de Fieuzal (€49) is the rather oaky second wine of the Irish-owned Château de Fieuzal, in Pessac-Leognan.