Eating out:Like many Irish people, I felt a pang of sympathy when I heard Gay Mitchell whingeing about the German ambassador recently. I was convinced that his excellency would be on the receiving end of a barrage of denial and invective, just as I was, in a much smaller way, when I pointed out that a certain Irish city had a disgraceful paucity of decent places to eat.
But I need not have worried. Everyone seems to agree with the ambassador, and it was amusing to hear Joe Duffy, the nation's confessor, becoming increasingly desperate to find a dissenting voice.
Anyway, back to that Irish city. Surely it was Cork. No, it was Limerick, as a matter of fact. Corkonians seem to have grown up, and they now realise that the Leeside, while not a bad old place, could be better, certainly as far as restaurants are concerned.
So, there I was, waiting for a new restaurant to open on the banks, and eventually one came along. Surely it would do for Cork what, say, the Winding Stair has done for Dublin. Sadly not. Whoever is behind Market Lane has done what anyone who wants to make proper money in the restaurant game would do: provide fairly cheap food, with pleasant service, in a way that packs in the punters. Not a bad idea, of course, and I suppose it adds to the sum of human happiness in a country where quality of grub has never been an issue. But it means Cork must wait even longer for a new restaurant that is really worthy of the city.
On a Wednesday lunchtime it was packed with what appeared to be happy customers. The place ran smoothly, and the staff were friendly, efficient and cheerful. The food was another matter. A dull little salad of sliced beetroot, leaves, walnut pieces and very tiny bits of blue cheese must have represented a gross profit of about €6 for the €6.50 charged. Tiger prawns with the same collection of leaves and a few dollops of sweet chilli sauce (a substance on which an immediate moratorium should be placed) were, oh, you know, okay.
A steak sandwich involved meat, mayo and what have you sandwiched between slices of something one step removed from sliced pan, served with reasonable potato wedges. But I prefer wedges made from organic potatoes, wimp that I am, because the conventional ones are almost invariably chemically treated to prevent sprouting.
A gratin of butternut squash with sun-dried tomato, feta and almond slivers had about as much interest as Jim Davidson's carefully considered views on the art of comedy.
Banoffi pie, qua banoffi pie, was okay if you like caramel, banana, biscuit crumbs and cream, but it was symptomatic of Market Lane's reluctance to push, even ever so slightly, at the boundaries. On the other hand, a "warm berry crumble" was pretty good, if a touch too sweet.
Market Lane is not just another restaurant. It's trying to feed people at reasonable prices and in a way that ensures they will feel comfortable. This is still something of a rarity. I wish it well for the sake of the lovely staff, but this is not what Cork needs just now.
It's perfectly possible to produce excellent cheap food. Just think of stuff like poor man's asparagus - actually baby leeks with hard-boiled egg and a mustard vinaigrette - or celeriac remoulade with ham; even the schinken you can buy in Lidl for almost nothing. And what about stews and daubes? It all takes more labour, of course, and that's a consideration.
It seems a shame that a restaurant that says it sources from the English Market should be so lacklustre. Clearly, we must wait a bit longer for someone with vision and courage to give Cork a new restaurant that delivers really good food at good prices. At this stage I'd settle for really good food at moderately high prices. But I suspect potential investors are aware that David McWilliams has been wrong for almost a decade, and it can't be long before his dire predictions come true.
The bill, with a bottle of pleasant Spanish red, came to €79.66, including service.
Wine choice
At the risk of sounding like a complete dipstick, I have to say I like the chunky rusticity of Domaine de Sainte Marthe Syrah (€21). Other value-for-money wines on this short and slightly random list include Umani Ronchi's fresh Verdicchio (€23), the fashionable Château Pesquié Viognier (€32), fruity Essencia Valdemar Tempranillo, from Rioja (€23.50), and The Wolftrap, the rich South African blend familiar to Superquinn and Oddbins customers, for €25.50. There's also Erdinger (unleaded for non-drinkers) at €4 and Aspall Organic Suffolk Cyder for a rather steep €7.50 for 500ml.
Market Lane Restaurant & Bar, 5/6 Oliver Plunkett Street, Cork, 021-4274710, www.marketlane.ie