MotorBikes: Triumph Thruxton 900Classic bikes have their moments, which are usually bad, says Geoff Hill, until you get to the Triumph Thruxton 900
As a man who rode a Royal Enfield from Delhi to Belfast, I am all too familiar with the vagaries of old British bikes.
The shakes, the rattles, the rolls, the inexplicable silences, the broken ankles from getting the kick start wrong, the toasted fingers from taking out a hot spark plug to see if it needs a little gentle sandpapering to get it back on speaking terms with a spark.
If you don't believe me, a quick read of Steve Wilson's Down the Road: Genuine Mileage on Classic Motorcycles should convince you, as Wilson takes a deep breath and tries to restart his vintage BSA by the roadside, as Honda and BMW owners sail cheerily past, and thinks to himself yet again that there is a price to be paid for an addiction to nostalgia.
However, there is another way, and here it is. First of all, get yourself the gear, since looking good is the most important thing.
A Davida Classic pudding bowl and leather helmet, for a start, followed by a pair of Leon Jentet Aviator T1 goggles, or for the Spitfire pilots among you, a pair of reproduction RAF Halcyon Mark IVs.
Moving down, a jolly scarf borrowed from your girlfriend to show that while you're a rough, tough biker on the outside, you're caring and sensitive within.
Follow that with an understated set of Cafe Racer leather jacket and trousers from get geared.co.uk on that newfangled internet thing, and, last but not least, a magnificent pair of Altberg Clubman Classic boots. With buckles, naturally.
Oh wait, I almost forgot a small but significant detail: the motorbike.
This is the easy bit.
Get yourself down to your nearest Triumph dealer, hand him a measly €9,950 in used notes you've been keeping down the back of the sofa for just this moment, and let him lead you, trembling with anticipation, to a Triumph Thruxton 900.
Lovely, isn't it? The deep glowing red, of a lustre and depth which would have pleased the heart of any Chinese lacquersmith; the white stripe down the centre, which makes it look like it's flying even sitting still.
Not to mention the drop handlebars, the perfectly matched white speedo and tacho, the racing seat and the red and white streamlining where the pillion seat would be on more mundane machines.
Now comes the best bit, as you wheel it outside and press the starter button to unleash a happy burble like a family of kittens who've just been given a bowl of warm milk. Full fat, with extra cream.
Rarely can a motorcycle have sounded more pleased with itself, and with good reason, as you're about to discover.
Throw your leg over, enjoying the creak of new leather, and you're off, enjoying the snoring song of the engine, the light cornering that teaches you to be smooth and enjoy the sinuous harmony of winding roads, the eager but not frantic acceleration, and bar-end mirrors, which give you the best view you're ever likely to get on a bike.
Except, that is, for the one you get when you stop at traffic lights and catch a glimpse of yourself in a shop window; a man at one with his machine, on his way to the Ace Cafe for a mug of tea and a bacon buttie.
Although, of course, with a machine this civilised, that'll be free-range organic hand-knitted bacon on a wholegrain ciabatta. And hold the ketchup.
Factfile
Engine:air-cooled, DOHC, parallel-twin, 360º firing interval; capacity 865cc; bore/stroke, 90 x 68mm; compression ratio 9.2:1; fuel system, twin carburettors with throttle position sensor and electric carburettor heaters; ignition, digital-inductive type
Transmission:primary drive gear; final drive, X-ring chain; clutch wet, multi-plate; gearbox five-speed
Cycle parts:frame tubular steel cradle; swingarm twin-sided, tubular steel; wheels, front 36-spoke 18 x 2.5in, rear 40-spoke 17 x 3.5in; tyres, front 100/90 18, rear 130/80 R 17; suspension, front 41mm forks with adjustable preload, rear chromed spring twin shocks with adjustable preload
Brakes:front single 320mm floating disc, two piston calipers, rear single 255mm disc, two piston calipers
Dimensions:length 2150mm (84.6in); width (handlebars) 695mm (27.4in); height 1095mm (43.1in); seat height 790mm (31.1in); wheelbase 1490mm (56.7in); rake/trail 27º/97mm; weight (dry); 205kg (451lb); fuel tank capacity 16.6 litres (4.4 gal US)
Performance, measured at crankshaft:maximum power 70PS (69bhp) at 7200rpm; maximum torque 72Nm (53ft.lbf) at 6400rpm
The bike on test was supplied by Philip McCallen of Lurgan, 028 3832 9999, www.philipmccallen.com. Price, in Northern Ireland, £5,699, in the Republic, €9,950