BMW K 1200 R: There is nothing that says that a motorcycle has to be aesthetically pleasing. Some machines wouldn't be out of place among world-class sculptures. Some lack all pretensions towards beauty, nevertheless declare a fitness for their purpose. And there are motorbikes so incredibly ugly that, if they had mothers, even they would be hard put to love them.
Thus ran our thoughts when we first glimpsed the new BMW K 1200 R during the launch of the R 1200 RT in Tenerife in January.
With the K 1200 R BMW has again made it abundantly clear that long, long gone are the days when it made only solid, reliable machines for gentlemen of a certain age. The new addition is aimed at those who demands high-performance, aggressively styled, naked street bikes.
BMW calls the design "extrovert and futuristic". You wouldn't be in the least surprised if this mean, muscle machine snarled and bit you. Its looks - predatory, aggressive and athletic - are all part of BMW's policy of producing lighter, faster, more agile motorcycles. Having had the chance to road-test the K 1200 R, we can only say that it was quite some experience.
BMW claims this is "the most powerful roadster in the world" with power output of 120kW (163bhp). It describes it as a "typical product" of BMW Motorrad - this describes the direction BMW is taking rather than the marque's current image.
Essentially BMW has taken the technology of the K 1200 S and, with minor tweaks, use it in a naked roadster. It bristles with the same high-tech features available on the top-end BMWs: Electronic Suspension Adjustment (ESA) which gives nine touch-of-a-button settings at your command, the EVO (Evolution) braking system with optional Integral ABS, CAN-bus wiring technology free of any conventional melt-down fuses, integrated electronic immobiliser plus loads of other options such as panniers and GPS.
BMW says that the K 1200 R is most at home in an urban environment and on routes not far from a rider's home.
At home in an urban environment? This is just not true. Riding in traffic is a real pain, because the clutch is extremely heavy. There is a degree of adjustment, but even at its narrowest span it's distinctly wide even for the larger-handed amongst us.
In slow-moving traffic, an effective rear brake is needed, but it's weak and ineffective in stark contrast to the mighty front brakes.
There is provision for a pillion passenger, not that anyone would seriously consider such a machine for anything but very, very occasional passenger work. Besides, the passenger footrest is so close to the massive and very hot silencer that a barbecued boot is a distinct danger.
Outside of town is another story: this machine comes into its awesome best on fast main roads or on such twisting, turning roads as you find in the Wicklow mountains.
The 0-100km/h time is a fraction over 3 seconds. No machine listed equals, let alone exceeds it, on acceleration. No Ducati, no Fireblade comes near. This is as brisk as you're ever likely to go in or on anything, and it feels it.
Top speed may not be the world's fastest, but for an unfaired bike to hit 269km/h (167mph) means that very few machines, all fully faired, can beat it.
The behaviour of the K 1200 R through the twisty bits is magnificently confident. You find yourself going into corners, and safely exiting them, appreciably faster than you think.
It's almost cruel not to bring this machine to some tortuous Alpine pass strewn with hairpins by the score and let it show its its awesome power delivery, brilliant handling, rider comfort and those huge surges of power. It's so exhilarating that avoiding penalty points seems nearly impossible.