Driving a Ferrari around Ireland is no mean feat, what with the endless attention and bumpy back roads, but the thrill is unbeatable, writes Paddy Comyn
My year of introduction to the ways of Ferrari has been an interesting one so far. Having driven my first prancing horse in April, when I took the wheel of both the 599 Fiorano and 612 Scaglietti on a drive from Dublin to Belfast and managed not to dent either, it seems that I had been deemed fit for another task.
Ten years ago, you were as likely to see a Ferrari driving about with an Irish registration plate as you were to see a unicorn at Fairyhouse. While there were a few collectors with old money that locked them away and polished them once a month, there were few Ferrari lovers able to indulge their passion.
But roll on to 2007 and Ferrari, like so many of the other supercar makers, such as Aston Martin, Maserati and Bentley, are starting to pay serious attention to the emerald isle. As our property developers and entrepreneurs find their bank accounts bulging to Donald Trump-like proportions, the prospect of dropping around €300,000 on a play thing is no longer so improbable.
So, now, Ferrari has decided that their F430 should go on its late summer holidays - to Ireland - and who better to show it around than yours truly.
So yet again, I find myself with that same excited butterflies in my stomach as I land in Heathrow and head for picturesque Slough, home of The Office and also, rather oddly, Ferrari's UK headquarters. The irony of picking up one of the most beautiful cars in the world from one of the ugliest industrial areas of London is almost too much.
Collecting a Ferrari is not just a matter of grabbing keys and running off. I have, in advance, been sent a multiple-page document which promises my life savings, kidneys, eyes and first-born child to Ferrari, should I hurt their car in any way. The fact that I could barely afford the fuel, never mind the bill for kerbing an alloy wheel, meant that the next few days would be nerve-wracking.
The motorists of the UK are a little more accustomed to Ferraris on their roads than we are over here and, while many stared, most gave a nodding appreciation of the car as I rumbled towards Holyhead, nursing the first of what would be many tanks of petrol.
But it was at the ferry port that I got my first taste of what Ferrari is all about and what it must be like to be famous. As I parked up, preparing to board the vessel, a coach party full of 13-year-old girls drew up alongside. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I was either a premiership footballer (although my protruding belly seemed to belie this) or a pop star. Either way, I had the full and undivided attention of 50-odd hormonal girls. This might have been fine 17 years ago, but now I just go red and panic a little.
Everywhere I sat on the ferry, a noisy bunch would congregate, point and giggle. "Ferrari guy" they christened me. There are worse things you could be called, I suppose.
Arriving into Dublin, the excitement steps up a notch. Heads lean out of windows, van drivers stop dead and guys in modified cars nearly choke on their necklaces.
So first stop, Dublin's Port Tunnel, for a spot of auditory pornography. The recipe is simple: first, you need one Ferrari with a 4.3-litre 490bhp V8 that sounds like a barrel of firecrackers going off every time you press the gas pedal; second, you need a long tunnel; third, open the windows, drop down a couple of gears and press go. As the tunnel's walls fill with the music of Ferrari, I could almost feel the just-deceased Pavarotti nodding his approval in the passenger seat.
So, problem one was that, where I live, the fanciest car likely to appear is usually the one I am driving, but even they were unlikely to be ready for a car that costs more than my house. So I parked up at a friend's house, which had the right security to ensure I would sleep that night, before rising early next day to bring the car for a little tour.
It isn't often that you get a Ferrari for a weekend, so I was going to make the most of it. I head to do the tunnel again, so that was where I started before introducing the car to the Guinness Brewery, amongst other Dublin landmarks, and then hitting the N7 and N8 to Cork.
Aside from the neck straining I was causing and hand straining I was feeling from holding a petrol pump a lot, I started to realise that I was having another affect.
People were driving like nut cases. You see, if you are driving a Renault Scenic 1.4 and your child, who idolises you, urges you to pass that blue Ferrari, then it seems that many parents can't resist the temptation, regardless of how inappropriate the place in the road. And while I hate to generalise, this was where I had my first encounter with a baseball-cap wearing village idiot in an Opel Astra GSi (you know who you are) who tried his best to get me to race him, almost killing himself and a few others in the process.
STOPPING FOR FUEL, AGAIN, at Urlingford, a traditional pit-stop (I said pit) on the Dublin-Cork road, and it was celebrity time again. Phones and cameras were produced. They were even taking pictures of me. I have been signed up to open a pub in Urlingford, and to judge a talent show.
Rolling into Cork, we stop at the docks, where the LE Emer, a naval boat bound for the Donegal coast, is boarding. After leaving the Rebel county, we head for The Kingdom - Kerry. The Ring of Kerry is wonderful in a Mazda MX-5, but the low ride height, firm suspension and immense width of the F430 make this experience an unpleasant one. Tourists in Micra's shake their fists with frustration as I crawl through some of Ireland's finest driving roads at little more than 50km/h. Shattered from the day's activities, it was time to find the Ferrari a special bed for the night.
I had called a few hotels before hand to see if it was okay to bring a supercar to their premises. Many balked at the idea but in Kenmare, the Park Hotel happily took the responsibility. We are no hotel guide here at Motors, but this place was brilliant and couldn't have been more helpful.
Next day, it was on towards Galway for a brief lunch stop before heading east again. Driving this car couldn't be easier - it features paddle shifters just like you would find in a Formula 1 car and while these take a little getting used to, once you do, they prove to be super fast.
You can drive the car like an automatic too, but the changes are less fluent. It is surprisingly spacious inside, with brilliant air conditioning, exquisite leather and up front, reasonable luggage space. It is the exterior that really steals the show, though. In blue, this F430 looked amazing and goes further to illustrate one thing - there really is no other brand of car, aside, perhaps, from Bugatti or Lamborghini, that would cause this much fuss on the streets of Ireland.
An Aston Martin or Porsche will draw admiring glances and will have the technical ability to compete with the Ferrari, but for a sense of occasion, this car had it nailed. Which leads me on to concluding that while this car is beautiful beyond question, performs symphonic melodies from its engine and has feline-agility on the right roads, it seems grossly out of place on the majority of them.
By the third day, I was tired of the attention, tired of being afraid to park and tired of stopping at petrol stations. For the almost €300,000 you will pay for this car, you could have a pretty serious fleet of alternatives. The Porsche 911 Turbo, for example, seems more practical, just as lightening quick and more conducive to rutted Irish roads and the vagaries of multistorey car parks.
But that is the point. Having been "Ferrari Guy" for a weekend, I know that there really isn't an alternative for those that covet this brand so highly. For them, the 20-month waiting list and mortgage-like price tag is a price they are desperate to pay to feed this passion. I get it now.
For most of us, we will never get to know what it is like to own a Ferrari, but I would urge as many of you as possible to, albeit briefly, find out what it is like.Ferrari F430
Factfile
Engine: 4,308cc V8, 490bhp, 465Nm of torque
Transmission: Six-speed F1, rear-wheel drive
Performance: 0-100km/h in 4.0 seconds
Top speed: 315km/h
Fuel economy:
18.3 l/100km
CO2: 420 g/km
Price Range:
€270,000- €300,000+
Also available: F430 Spider