Split decisions on the merits of the German giants

BMW's mighty M3 against Audi's iconic RS4: they are the poster cars for petrolheads the world over

BMW's mighty M3 against Audi's iconic RS4: they are the poster cars for petrolheads the world over. But which is best? After a day's testing on the famous Nurburgring in Germany and on the surrounding roads, Conor Twomeyand Shane O'Donoghuego head-to-head in the hotel bar defending their favoured German

Conor Twomey:We've just driven the world's most revered racetrack in two of the world's great driver's cars. Life doesn't get much better than this, does it?

Shane O'Donoghue:Now comes the tricky part - agreeing on the better car. M3 anyone?

Conor:See, now why would you ruin a perfectly good day by being completely wrong?

READ MORE

Shane:What are you trying to say? Obviously the BMW wins. By a narrow margin I'll admit, but come on.

Conor:On what basis? Performance? They're an exact match for one another. Prestige? Ditto.

Shane:Agreed on the performance and prestige, though we'll ignore the fact that one is a four-door saloon and the other a coupé for the moment.

Conor:If anything, the fact the BMW is only available as a coupé while the RS4 comes as a wagon and family saloon strengthens its position as the "better car" because it's a superb all-rounder.

Shane:Fair point for the moment, though we both know that BMW has a convertible, saloon and maybe even Touring version in the works.

Conor:There's no wagon. Gerhard Richter (director of development at BMW's M Division) told me so. And a cabrio? Please. Where's my chest wig?

Shane:Then there's the fact the RS4 is about to end production; but as I said, let's ignore these facts for the moment.

Conor:Why ignore that? The new RS4 is two years away. I have €100,000 burning a hole in my pocket. Where do I go? Audi dealership. In terms of handling, the raison d'être of both these models, it has to be the RS4.

Shane:How do you define handling? I'd be interested to hear. The RS4 is the safest . . . But is that what a keen driver wants?

Conor:The RS4 isn't just the safest; it's also the more demanding car to drive well.

Shane:How can the RS4 be more demanding to drive when it does everything for you?

Conor:The RS4 will clean up your mess for you but to drive it smoothly takes skill. No wonder you don't like it.

For example, you were moaning about understeer and that the front tyres weren't gripping. If you drive it like an oaf, that's what happens.

Shane:So it's getting personal now, is it? You obviously need a car that cleans up your mess for you with a comment like that.

Conor:I don't follow. Go get another beer and think about what you've just said.

Shane:On the track you said something along the lines of "you can drift through the understeer". That's fine on a wide track, but out in the real world . . .

Conor:But we're not in the real world. We're in Wonderland - the Nurburgring.

Shane:Yes, yes, but the argument here is for using these cars on Irish roads. The BMW offers so much more pleasure. It's your round by the way.

Conor:The RS4 moves about under braking but it's never going to swap ends, is it? You can't balance it out quite the same way as you can the M3 but if you pitch it into the corner you can slide it around magnificently. Well, I can at any rate.

Shane:I've seen your driving . . .

Conor:Only from behind.

Shane:Yeah, you were taking up so much of the track with your antics I thought it wise to give you plenty of room.

Conor:Out in the real world, the RS4 is sublime - tons of grip, lots of power and that sound - what an engine.

The M3 is almost ashamed of its V8, which is down 30Nm of torque over the RS4 by the way.

Shane:The RS4 may, theoretically, give up quicker lap times on a track, but the BMW driver will be smiling more.

Conor:I disagree. The RS4 made me giggle because I felt I was driving it, not the other way around. The BMW M3 is very serious about its fun. It drives you.

Shane:The disparity in torque is fairly irrelevant. The RS4 feels stronger at the lower end of the rev counter, but gearing alone could do the same thing and the M3's engine has a monster top end. It also sounds better than the Audi.

Conor:The M3 is showing me what it can do, not inviting me along to join in the fun.

Shane:You mean the BMW is more of a car than you are a man? You need to rise above its Teutonic efficiency

Conor:It's more of a car than God is the omnipotent giver of life.

Shane:The Audi lets anyone feel like a driving God. Hence your delusions.

Conor:Or could it be I actually am that good and because of your sub-par ability you were unable to exploit the RS4 to the full, leaving the clinically excellent but emotionally detached M3 as your favoured choice?

Shane:My point about the driving is that there is nothing to exploit in the RS4. It lets you do so much, and then stops the fun. It is adjustable to a point, and then it just does it for you. It doesn't let you take control. The BMW does though, and if you don't do it right, it'll bite you.

Conor:Getting back to your point about the engines - who cares about top end in a V8? And were you dropped on your head as a child? The Audi's engine roars like a lion who has been kicked up the rear with a steel-capped boot. The M3's sound is more technical and busy. No window-down rides through tunnels there.

Shane:That's rubbish. The BMW is a far more "real" sound from an engine developed by guys that work in motorsport. The Audi's engine note is wonderful, but more "engineered" by the audio team. Getting back to my point, there's nothing to exploit in the RS4: it's just there for all to see.

Conor:Nothing to exploit in the RS4? Madness. It takes work to drive it cleanly, skill to get the most from it. If you push it to the point the quattro system or ESP has to save you you've failed. The M3 is far more reliant on its ESP system, especially in the wet. Turn it off and you're seriously risking sticking it in the barriers unless you really know your stuff. And most people with €100,000 are too busy earning more money to worry about apexes and cornering lines. As for the engine sound, did you ever hear a car without an exhaust? That's the true sound of an engine and it isn't pretty. All exhaust notes are tuned. BMW made the M3 sound that way just so it wouldn't sound the same as the RS4.

Shane:The Audi is fun, but I wouldn't hesitate in signing the cheque for the BMW. In summary, the BMW is naturally a better balanced car, which allows a huge amount of adjustability at and over the limit. While I acknowledge that there are few opportunities for power slides on the public road, the M3 allows the driver a wide range of choices. It may be formidably competent, but it's also hugely rewarding to drive properly. Can you summarise? The bar's closing.

Conor:I love the M3, to be perfectly honest, but the RS4 is just more fun. It's got superb steering and a more communicative chassis that's got that extra quattro safety net. And it's got a cachet that the M3 doesn't have - along with none of the arrogance associated with BMWs. To the uninitiated you're just driving an Audi saloon. To those in the know, you're motoring royalty. The M3 is excellent. The RS4 is superior. How much have you had to drink?

Shane:The Audi is rewarding and at slower speeds communicates more with the driver than the BMW does, but ask a little more of it and there is no more to give, certainly not within the confines of a public road. It is competent, but doesn't have the same wide range of abilities. It comes down to adjustability and balance. The M3 is more flexible. And besides, who wants to pay that sort of money on a car to have it confused with a 1.6-litre bog standard A4?

Conor:I think you should get the bus to the airport.

BMW M3:
Performance:
Cc: 3999
Bhp: 414
Nm: 400
0-100km/h: 4.8 seconds
Top speed: 250km/h (limited)
Price: €103,900

Shane says:Believe the hype: the latest M3 is better in every respect than its illustrious forebear. And it's better than the Audi.

Conor says:That may be so, but the previous generation was overrated to begin with. Fast and imposing, but too good for its own good.

Audi RS4:
Performance:
Cc: 4163
Bhp: 414
Nm: 430
0-100km/h: 4.8 seconds
Top speed: 250km/h (limited)
Price: €104,130

Shane says:The RS4 will thrill most drivers most of the time, but it just doesn't have the same repertoire of abilities as the BMW. Not for me.

Conor says:Forgives sloppiness, but rewards skill. The connoisseur's choice. It can carry the whole family too. Where do I sign?