TheNurburgring/to hell and back in a Corsa: A trip to the Nurburgring shouldn't be taken lightly. The German racetrack might well be a mecca for all true speed junkies, but its reputation has taken more than a few lives and anyone who drives there has to treat this fact seriously.
The request for next-of-kin details from the trip organisers had already alerted me to this, but the statistics that the track claims an average of one life a week had me firmly focused.
Even still, it wasn't until I slid into the driver's seat of a high performance Opel Corsa OPC at the entrance to the Nurburgring's Nordschleife track, that it hit me that. I was about to attempt the most challenging and dangerous circuit in the world (while simultaneously getting to grips with a left-hand drive car for the first time in my life).
Dubbed "The Green Hell" by Jackie Stewart, the Nordschleife slices through dense forest high in the Eiffel mountains.
The narrow track consists of 20.8km of unrelenting twists and turns, blind hill crests and abrupt climbs and drops, tightly flanked on either side by Armco crash barriers.
The track was used as a Formula One circuit until Niki Lauda's horrific crash in 1976 which ended the 'Ring's F1 career.
So, what next for a race track considered too dangerous for the best drivers in the world? Why, open it to the public of course, and let any random daredevil who wishes to risk his neck do so for a small toll.
Now on public days, a truly bizarre mix of aspiring Ringmeisters make the pilgrimage from all over the world to test their mettle on the 'Ring.
On the evening of our arrival, Porsche 911s, Ferrari 360 Stradales and Lamborghini Gallardos queued up alongside Dodge Ram pick-up trucks, high-powered motorbikes with passengers riding pillion and family estate cars.
Some drivers were armed to the teeth with fireproof racing suits, helmets, racing harnesses and anti-roll bars, while in other vehicles small children could be seen perched in the front seat.
Even in that short evening public session, carnage wasn't far away.
A SNIGGER RAN THROUGH THE group staying in the Dorrint Hotel that overlooks the track, when someone spotted the prima donna owner of an orange Lamborghini - who had been seen ranting in the carpark earlier because someone had taken "his" space - getting intimately acquainted with the Armco at one of the very first corners.
The following morning, trapped at the head of a convoy of infinitely more experienced drivers, I had no choice but to follow my instructor and pathfinder Ernst into the Green Hell.
Tiergarten is one of the first serious bends, and I concentrated hard on copying Ernst's every move.
Attempting the track without first memorising every single twist and turn is a recipe for disaster, so it was essential to have a professional leading the way, revealing the best line to take at each turn.
Gradually I started feeling more confident, and learned not to fight against the force that swings the car to the other side of the track after a bend, but to let the car drift outwards while accelerating out of the turn.
The track is unrelenting, tortuous, unforgiving and the margin for error tiny. Only a sliver of grass marks the difference between the edge of the asphalt and becoming embedded in Armco.
Of all the insane challenges that the 'Ring throws at you, the most incredible is the Karussell , a 270-degree steeply-banked curve. Paved with concrete blocks, the Karussell was originally built for drainage and the real track ran above it, until Caracciola became the first driver to use it as a way of carrying more speed through the bend.
Putting my faith in the example set by Ernst, I entered the Karussell and accelerated hard. We shot round and round and round like a ball in a roulette table until it felt like the car would surely be catapulted out of its orbit, but we finally emerged smoothly, safely and on a total high.
Ernst's constant pearls of wisdom crackled over the radio throughout the lap. "Here is the Flugplatz, [where F1 cars used to become airborne]; be careful as brakes don't work quite so well when all of the wheels are off the ground". Funny that. "And here we have the spot where Niki Lauda crashed," he went on. How comforting.
Finally we were on the home strait, taking advantage of one of the few straits where you can let the car loose. And then, the gruelling 20.8km was over.
I had decided at the outset against timing my lap, but I thought I must have been pretty fast when a few instructors rushed over to congratulate me. I was quickly disillusioned, however.
It turned out they were simply impressed with my strong stomach - two other female journalists had been sick while driving due to the violent twists and turns, and had to quit.
I then caught a ride in a Ring-taxi, and was flung round the back seat on an even more thrilling rollercoaster ride, absorbing how a professional driver tackles the circuit.
If you're a daredevil type who lives for speed and your next adrenalin hit, then driving the 'Ring is definitely something you should try.
But, I have to admit that I empathise with Jackie Stewart's words: "The only time you felt good thinking about the 'Ring was when you were a long way away, curled up at home in front of a warm fire on a winter night . . . Any driver who says he loved the 'Ring was either lying, or not driving quickly enough."