An initiative to get young people learning to drive safely and in proper conditions has got under way at Mondello Park, writes Ed Power.
Learning to drive is one of those landmarks in life you either swoosh past when young and fearless, or spend much of your adulthood attempting frantically to duck out of.
If you first clambered behind the wheel as an eager and naive 17-year-old you will be agog and aghast that anyone - an otherwise normal 30-something, say - has dedicated the best part of a decade to scrabbling for excuses not to do likewise.
Avoiding something you should have gotten around to ooh... 14 years ago, can come back to bite you, however. In this case, my inability to drive hasn't merely returned to snap at my ankles. It has vindictively sank its fangs into my rump and won't let go.
All of which is a prosaic way of explaining why I'm sitting in a classroom of transition year students, who are regarding me as though I'm some sort of creep. Actually, it's not exactly a classroom and I'm not really plonked bang in the middle of the teenagers (I'm hunkered at the back, trying to appear anonymous - which may go towards explaining their puzzled/hostile glances).
We - by which I mean the children and I - are taking classes in driving, organised by the Mondello Park racing circuit in Kildare and the Irish School Of Motoring.
The theory underpinning the Early Drive initiative is that it is best to introduce children to the fundaments of driving at 16, a few months before many will acquire their provisional licences.
In addition to receiving a course in basic driving safety, the kids get to bring a hatchback around a Mondello back-lot (though it is supposedly their first run out in an automobile, the revs posted by some suggest it may not always be quite the novelty teachers think).
Yet while this element has generated the greatest publicity it in truth serves merely as an appetizer.
Safety, you quickly discover, is Early Drive's prime concern. The importance of responsible driving is repeatedly brought home through videos, instructional lectures and demonstrations by Mondello drivers.
You depart not exalted at having sat behind the wheel for (possibly) the first time but crushingly aware of the dangers posed by sloppy, selfish driving. I was a reluctant student before the Early Drive - now the thought of venturing on the open road scares me rigid.
This is surprising as my inaugural stint in the driver's seat - unless Project Gotham on Xbox counts - is both thrilling and surprisingly crash-free. Perhaps that is because my instructor is Karl Walsh, general manager of the Irish School of Motoring. If he cannot coax me aloft, then frankly I'd better invest in a pair of decent walking shoes.
The first shock is that I am able to operate a clutch. On my own. Without anything exploding. The realisation comes as an eye opener as I had always understood the clutch to be slightly mysterious, the sort of device one either took to instinctively or was doomed to be forever fazed by.
The concept of gears I find easy to assimilate also. Hey - maybe an idiot can drive after all! (as a front-seat passenger of long standing I am incidentally aware that a great many idiots are already driving: the point is that there is a particularly clumsy breed of idiot I believed pathologically incapable of making a car obey their orders).
Before the instructor may yell "Oh dear god, noooo!" we're zipping around the track at a terrifying 25mph. What's most curious, perhaps, is how similar the experience is to playing a console game. I am perfectly serious. Without my PS2 and Xbox I'm quite sure my inaugural attempt at driving would not have proceeded as smoothly. I even get overtaken at one point and don't turn into a panic-stricken jellyfish.
Afterwards, there are demonstrations of the maximum breaking distance of a vehicle in various conditions and road safety videos, which, as I said, are appropriately unsettling.
The day culminates with two water melons being dropped from a tower to show how your head behaves when you are struck by a car travelling at 30 miles per hour. The splatter takes a long time to clean up.
Class ends and I am as fretful as ever I was. The teenagers, however, are thrilled. Especially by the exploding fruit.
Early Drive courses are held regularly at Mondello Park. There are plans to extend the programme to other parts of the country. Further details are available from the Irish School of Motoring (www.ism.ie) and Mondello Park, www.mondellopark.ie
