HOBBY HORSE:You need steady hands and sharp reflexes to shatter these flying saucers
THE BUTT OF the Beretta 686 double-barrel shotgun is clasped tightly against my collarbone. When I shout "Pull", a saucer-shaped disc comes shooting across the embankment 50 feet in front of me. I track it in the air for a second or two before gently squeezing the trigger. Bang! The orange disc is smashed to smithereens. Luke, my instructor, is impressed. "Not bad for a first go," he says. I wonder if he suspects beginners' luck. I know I do. I shout "Pull" again and another orange disc comes spinning through the air. I raise the shotgun and brace myself for its thumping recoil.
Courtlough Shooting Grounds in Ballbriggan has been in business for 12 years and has more than 400 members. It is open to the public seven days a week. Today, Luke has kindly agreed to show me the ropes. My expectations for my own performance here are not very high. So far, in researching these Hobby Horse pieces, I've been trashed at chess, humiliated at snooker and had my ass handed to me at Scrabble by a woman old enough to be my grandmother. Realistically, then, success today would be to avoid shooting anyone in the face.
As it turns out, however, I appear to be a freakishly good shot. No, I don't just mean that I'm useful with a shotgun. I mean I'm phenomenal. I mean I begin to suspect my coming here today is the fulfilment of a prophecy or something. ("And lo, there shall cometh a young man wearing ear muffs, and he shall smite the flying crockery, and boast about it to his companions till they do become weary . . .") Of the first five clays, which are shot toward me from the opposite embankment, I hit four. The next five are shot towards the embankment from a trap to my right. I hit only three of these: a minor blip.
Next, two targets are fired from different traps simultaneously: one towards me, the other away from me. I raise the shotgun and blast both out of the air. Two more are launched and I hit the first but miss the second. A further two go up and I obliterate both.
In terms of marksmanship here, I suppose my closest peer would be Private Jackson, the religious sniper in Saving Private Ryan. The only difference between Jackson and myself, that I can see, is that he prefaced each shot with a prayer. Personally, I don't bother with that. Why would I? Right now, in Box No 5 at the Courtlough Shooting Grounds, I am God.
Luke's appraisal of my shooting talents is a little more circumspect. "Hitting more than 50 per cent of the clays is certainly promising for a beginner," he says. But he leaves it at that. (There's no "We must nurture your amazing gift", let alone "It's not too late for the Olympics," which is disappointing.) Eventually, I've used all my cartridges and he brings me down to see the competition traps. Here, the targets are projected at a variety of trajectories, angles, speeds, elevations and distance. One shoots a small black target at lightning speed across the grass to replicate the experience of hunting a hare. It's a bit of a reality check. The traps I was using earlier were kid's stuff in comparison to these.
As we walk back to the clubhouse, I ask Luke if he hunts game at all. He says that he used to hunt pheasants but doesn't so much anymore. All things considered, I tell him, a pheasant must be much easier to hit than a clay pigeon. They're much bigger, for starters, and not nearly as fast. He agrees. "Some people prefer real hunting and they turn their noses up at the clay pigeon shooting," he says. "But I've found that shooting clay really sharpens up your reflexes." Of course, one can't bring a clay pigeon home and stick it in the oven. "You can bring your scorecard home," he counters. "And stick it on the fridge." Ah yes, the scorecard. I can just see the faces of the little orphans light up . . .
Luke smiles. Of course, he still has the gun in his hands. So I decide not to push my luck.
CLAY PIGEON SHOOTING FACTS
Clay pigeon shooting has at least 20 forms of regulated competition. These can be divided into three main groups: Trap, Skeet and Sporting.
Annual membership at Courtlough Shooting Grounds in Balbriggan, Co Dublin, costs €195. For non-members to shoot 25 clay targets costs €40 per person (including targets, ammunition, instruction and insurance).
