As The Irish Times'sSisters supplement pointed out this week, women were not the only ones liberated over the past 40 years. Here are 10 giant leaps for Irish mankind
1 BUY HIS OWN UNDERWEAR
It was technically possible for a man to buy his own underwear in 1970. There was no law against it. But in the intensely matriarchal society of that time, most grew to adulthood without the knowledge or self-confidence necessary to source new Y-fronts (and vests), supplies of which were controlled by their mothers and then wives. Men have since made great strides in this area. Even so, a side effect of the long disenfranchisement is that, in terms of aesthetics, comfort and materials, men’s underwear still lags decades behind women’s.
2 CRY
Between the War of Independence and EEC membership, no Irish man had ever cried, at least in public. With the opening up of Ireland to foreign influences, this began to change. By the late 1980s most men were in regular touch with their feminine sides, if only through their solicitors. Even then, doubts remained as to the advisability of being seen crying. It took the landmark Ahern v Dobson case (2006) to establish that a man shedding a tear on live TV could expect higher ratings.
3 FIND THE G-SPOT
Successive studies by scientists have failed to locate the mythical G-spot – the Shangri-la of female erogenous zones – culminating in last year’s breakthrough by a team at King’s College London, which finally declared it to be a figment of women’s imaginations. But the search was still at its height in 1970. With the Summer of Love, the chart success of Je t’aime . . . and the increased availability in Ireland of art-house movies, Irish men were under unprecedented pressure to find it. The double standard by which women were demanding multiple orgasms from men, who were always happy to have one at a time, was not as apparent then as it is now.
4 HUG ANOTHER MAN
Before EEC membership an Irish man could physically express affection for a male friend only by (1) punching him, or (2) slapping his back hard enough to dislodge fillings. Europeanisation gradually changed this, introducing first the single-breasted hug and then – after the Maastricht Treaty – the double hug, with or without kissing. Exceptions remain. The GAA, for example, sought and was granted a derogation to protect its traditional goal celebrations. Punching and/or slapping remain the norm here.
5 ATTEND THE BIRTHS OF HIS CHILDREN
In 1970 men were effectively banned from maternity wards. Forty years later the wheel has turned full circle. An expectant father now needs a good excuse – and preferably a medical certificate – not to be present at the birth. In a ground-breaking 2004 interview, the Irish actor and militant masculinist Colin Farrell (above right) claimed that he felt his life change at the precise moment his first child was conceived. “A feeling washed over me,” he said. “It was a moment of unconscious creation of the future, grasping my destiny. He was ready to arrive and I knew he’d be a boy.” Given that most men are asleep within two minutes of completed intercourse, and that fertilisation can occur hours afterwards, Farrell’s comments had alarming implications. Luckily, for now, the danger seems to have passed. Men are expected to be present at the birth, but attendance at the conception remains voluntary.
6 RETAIN HIS WAISTLINE AFTER MARRIAGE
Strict postnuptial monogamy – the so-called “marriage bar” – was still the norm in Irish life 40 years ago, and one way it was enforced was through the unhealthy diets men were placed on by their wives. Women had almost total control of kitchens then. And they used this ruthlessly to ensure that, within a year of marriage, their husbands looked as if they were pregnant too. This reduced their chances of ever mating with anyone else. But an unintended – or was it? – side effect of this regime was a high rate of cardiac disorders among men (see No 7).
7 LIVE AS LONG AS AN IRISH WOMAN
The notorious difference in average life expectancy between the sexes, whereby females can expect to live five years longer, continues. Even more shocking is that we still await the first major inquiry into how parity can be achieved: whether by raising the male average, lowering the female one or – surely the sensible solution – a combination of both. Such an inquiry might look at the role played by women in ensuring that Irish men have high rates of cardiac disease. In this context researchers should consider a sinister phrase long popular in matriarchal circles, and still handed down from mother to daughter: “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
8 MOVE HIS HIPS WHILE DANCING
Michael Flatley (right) has provided Irish men with a role model in this area, even if they choose to pretend he never happened. Sadly, there is no other progress to report.
9 DISCUSS RELATIONSHIP ISSUES DURING A FOOTBALL MATCH
In 1970 it was quite impossible for a man to discuss, for example, the imminent break-up of his marriage while a football match was on television. Now, thanks to technologies such as “live pause”, he can take a break from the game and still miss nothing.
10 BLAME A STRING OF ONE-NIGHT STANDS WITH PORN STARS ON SEX ADDICTION The discovery that philandering could be explained by a medical condition is still too revolutionary for us to have absorbed the implications. But it promises to have the same liberating effect for men as the pill did for women. Sadly, in less enlightened times, a man caught “cheating” – to use the value-laden terminology of the era – would have been judged only on moral grounds, and could at best expect a long period sleeping in the doghouse, during his rehabilitation. It seems so medieval now. But that was how men with psychomedical problems were treated then.
Breda O’Brien: Opinion and Analysis, main paper
