GO CITYBREAK:You're never far from tumultuous history in Bratislava, but that won't upset the Slovakian capital's languid atmosphere, writes Mal Rogers
BRATISLAVA IS so beautiful that some people stay in the cheaper hotels in nearby Vienna and make day trips to the Slovakian capital. Our guide, Eva, told us this 25-carat globule of information with a straight face. Well, reasonably straight. She had the most amazing habit of rolling her eyes wildly in her head while reciting her Brat pack of facts. She also had a disconcerting habit of gasping for breath as her commentary reached exciting junctures, such as Bratislava's origins in the 13th century or its momentous name change from Pressburg.
Whether some tourists enjoy the sights of Bratislava and thenlodge in cheap Viennese BBs I can only leave you to speculate on. But I am able to tell you that the Slovakian capital certainly mirrors the history of Vienna: the two, the EU's closest capitals at just 60km apart, have been subject to the same great grinding mills of European history. Both cities have lived under many empires, from the Holy Roman to the EU.
Eva was into her stride as we ambled along the ancient cobbled streets. "The Celtic Boii tribe founded the first significant settlement" - wheeze - "then the Greeks came" - roll of the eyes. Suddenly, an unpredicted mood swing. Dolefully Eva announced: "Then the Romans came" - big wheeze - "then the Slavs, Ottomans, yes, the Habsburgs, the fascists, the Czechs. But they're all gone now. And now we have nobody left to blame but ourselves." She almost sobbed.
We collectively raised our eyebrows, but Eva wasn't taking questions.
Unenlightened, we pressed on through the Old Town. We marvelled at the contrast of Habsburg and eastern-bloc architectural styles, admired the tight tangle of medieval streets and wondered at the seductive Mittel Europa cafe culture. Bratislava is central Europe writ large: old rattling trams, snug alehouses, wine cellars, castles, churches and, of course, a big river. Even Eva seemed to sense our delight. The mood lightened, and we were soon in receipt of more startling information. The Danube flows through 10 countries, yet not one of them calls it that. In Slovak it's the Dunaj, and provides wonderfully leafy walks along its banks. You could walk, or indeed waltz, from here to Budapest or farther if you wanted.
The mention of waltzing quickly brought Eva to the subject of music. As early as the 18th century Bratislava was fortissimoin the music business - Liszt started out here, Beethoven was a regular visitor and Bartók and Rubenstein were both residents. The musical ethos continues, greatly encouraged during the communist era. If you're into classical, opera or ballet, you should make your way here allegrissimo. The beautifully restored Slovak National Theatre (Pribinova 17, 00-421-2-57782110, www.snd.sk) presents drama, ballet and opera of the highest order. On the same square, the Redoute concert hall is home to the Slovak Philharmonic, one of Europe's finest, and ticket prices are reasonable (www.filharm.sk, 00-421-2-59208233 or www.ticketportal.sk).
Bratislava isn't big, with about 400,000 inhabitants. Roughly the same size as Belfast, I told Eva. She rolled her eyes wildly, took a huge gasp and had to support herself against a wall.
Small, certainly, but the Slovakian capital is languid and beautiful yet reliably uneventful. You're never more than a few metres from tumultuous historical events, but then neither are you too far from a cafe or pub. Its inhabitants are peaceable and convivial. They even call their fairly recent spilt from the Czech Republic "the velvet divorce". I wouldn't be surprised if the title of their national anthem, Nad Tatrou sa Blyska, translates as "Why don't we all just go down to the pub?"
At the end of our stay Eva had somewhat recovered her sunny side. She had even developed the international linguistic tic of telling us to "enjoy" and to be sure to come back.
I think I very well might.
5 places to stay
Hotel Raddison SAS Carlton. Hviezdoslavovo Namestie 3, 00-421-2-59390000, www.bratislava.radissonsas.com. Double rooms from €165, including breakfast. This is Bratislava's top-drawer digs, next door to the Opera House and within walking distance of the Danube.
Hotel Marrols. Tobrucka 4, 00-421-2-57784600, www.hotelmarrols.sk. The Marrols is currently offering BB, welcome drink and chocolates, a Bratislava Card, free minibar, dinner, tours and more for €258 for two per night.
Hotel Perugia. Zelena Ulica, 00-421-2-54431818, www.perugia.sk. Double rooms including breakfast for €187. On a quiet street in the heart of the Old Town, Hotel Perugia is unassumingly luxurious.
Botel Gracia. Razusovo Nabrezie, 00-421-2-54432132, www.botelgracia.sk. Double rooms from €82. Had one beer too many and think the room is moving? Not to worry: this is a floating hotel. The gentle ripple of the Danube will rock you to sleep.
Hotel Devin. Riecna 4, 00-421-2-59985856 www.hoteldevin.sk. Double rooms from €145. A hotel of the communist era, this could well have been the Ministry of Oppression or some such. It's now reckoned to be a jewel of the functionalist style; inside it's surprisingly comfy and clubbable.
5 places to eat
Flowers. Venturska 1, 00-421-2-20922733, www.flowersrestaurant.sk. Set in the impressive courtyard of the Erdody Palace, in the Old Town, Flowers is at the cutting edge of Bratislava's restaurants, specialising in a selection of Slovakian classics with a twist.
U Mamicky. Palisady 40, 00-421-2-54434618. Seafood is the star turn, with the likes of baked octopus "relaxing" on truffle oil demanding your attention.
Slovenska Restauracia. Hviezdoslavovo Namestie 20, 00-421-2-54434883. Veal cheeks, goose liver and ox lungs are just some of the more mainstream organs deemed edible in Slovakia. In general, Brat food is hearty, tasty, and not what the cardiologist ordered. One of the best places to try it is here. And it has a vegetarian alternative: you can push off.
Prasna Basta. Zamocnicka 11, 00-421-2-5443-4957, www.prasnabasta.sk. A cheapish eatery set into the city's walls, Prasna specialises in regional dishes, such as pork and beef with potato pancake. Also try Sote Jose: chicken strips in a creamy white-wine sauce with hot peppers.
Tempus Fugit. Sedlarska 5, 00-421-2-54414357, www.tempusfugit.sk. A splendidly situated restaurant, this arcaded room with ancient stone columns boasts nice original features, such as a glass-covered millennia-old well. The food is similarly epic - Tokay hare with all the trimmings goes down exceptionally well.
5 places to go
Bratislava Castle(The Castle of Maria Theresa). Vajanske Nabrezie, 00-421-2-59349111, www.bratislava.info/castle or www.snm.sk. Legends haunt Bratislava's major landmark, which has dominated the skyline since the 13th century. With excellent views of both Slovakia and Austria, this dark haunt of unknowable mysteries is a mixture of medieval, old Gothic, baroque and Renaissance styles. The Slovakian National History Museum is housed here, featuring weaponry, coins, ancient postcards, stamps and documents.
St Martin's Cathedral. Rudnayovo Namestie, www.bratislava.info/st-martins-cathedral or www.klassic.sk (for concert information). Bratislava's finest church, this was once the coronation site for the kingdom of Hungary. Beethoven's Missa Solemnis had its world premiere here.
St Michael's Tower. Michalska 22-24, 00-421-2- 54433044, www.slovak heritage.org/Townsvill/ stmichaelgate.htm. This tower has guarded the city's northern entrance since the 14th century. The climb up goes through chambers of increasingly sophisticated weaponry; Bratislava was once an important gun-making centre.
Blue Danube Tour. Fajnorovo Nabrezie (landing stage), 00-43-1-58880, www. ddsg-blue-danube.at. Cruises leave here for the Wachau Valley, perhaps one of the most beautiful stretches of the Danube. The 36km river valley has been included in the Unesco World Heritage list.
Annual Christmas market. Main Square (Hlavne namestie). Slovakia is famed for its crystal and porcelain, ultra-alcoholic drinks and wooden toys. You can get them all, plus every type of hand-made Chrimbo decoration, at the annual Christmas market in the Main Square from late November until December. For a time out, enjoy a hot pancake while listening to some heavenly live choral music.
Check out
Bratislava's forests. In the foothills of the Small Carpathians, Bratislava has more forests than you could reasonably shake a stick at. If you want to join the Brat pack chilling out, hop on to a rickety number 203 trolley bus. The route leads directly into the Kamzik Hills and the serene, pine-scented Partisan Meadow. Summer bobsleigh runs, climbing frames, picnic huts - it's all here. In the winter the ponds are used for ice skating, which is a magical experience, especially if big, unhurried snowflakes are falling.
Hit the shops
Forget the souvenir shops in the Old Town. Instead, unsheathe your credit card and sally forth to the huge Aupark shopping mall (Einsteinova Ulica 18, 00-421-2-68266200, www.aupark.sk) just across the river. It's mostly locals shopping here, so it's cheaper, with a real flavour of Slovakikan life - I even spotted Eva from a distance. Expect shoes and handbags or sleek leather briefcases from the likes of Sofie Jane, Xtrem or Mixer, plus quirky stuff that you wouldn't get back home. A food hall on the top floor is excellent for stocking up on picnic swag for that dander down the Danube.
A good night out
Start off at the Klarisky Church (Klariska Street, www.ticketportal.sk or www.nuestra.sk), which features opera and choral music from 5pm. Then it's time for a few beers at the Slovak Pub (Obchodná 62, 00-421-2-52926367, www.slovakpub.sk), where a mixture of locals, visitors, workers and students quench their thirst on the largest selection of Slovakian beers in town. Next stop is Laverna Club (Námestie SNP 25, 00-421-2-54433165), the only venue in town with a programme every night of the week. Expect hip hop, blistering RB and soul. Alternatively, the Jazz Café (Venturska 5, 00-421- 905-500168, www.jazz-cafe.sk) presents international and local artists of a high calibre in a medieval cellar.
Hot spot
For dedicated clubbers, try to get your weekend break to coincide with the once-monthly UFO Groove Club on a Saturday night (Novy Most, 00-421-2-62520300, www.u-f-o.sk). The venue is 85m above the Danube in the pillar of the New Bridge. The music is eclectic, the clientele sassy and the cocktails and sushi superb.
Avoid
Calling Slovakia Slovenia.
"The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned first-hand from your foreign minister, who came to Texas," George Bush told a Slovakian journalist - shortly after meeting the prime minister of Slovenia. Slovakia and Slovenia are much farther apart geographically and temperamentally than, say, Ireland and Britain.
Go there
Sky Europe (www.sky europe.com) flies from Dublin to Bratislava every day except Tuesdays and Thursdays.