Bringing children to faraway destinations can drive you to despair, writes Orna Mulcahy, Alanna Gallagherhas some tips for surviving the journey
NINE AIRPORTS, 30,000 kilometres and countless trays of chicken or beef. The question "Are we there yet?" took on a whole new meaning on a family trip to Australia.
Some people would rather climb Croagh Patrick on their knees in a blizzard than travel long haul with children. I used to be one of them, but then along came the SSIA and our chance to introduce the children to their cousins in Sydney.
Tickets were booked and paid for months in advance, seats were allocated and internet bookings made for hotels and transfers. It all seemed totally unreal until we rolled up at Dublin Airport with three children, five suitcases and a ludicrous amount of hand baggage to cover all eventualities.
We had water, books, travel games, fleeces, chocolate, baby wipes, travel socks, puzzles, toys, sucky sweets and tubes of moisturiser. No one was going to dehydrate on our watch.
But you can't plan for everything. Our flight was delayed for so long that we missed our connection, and the goody bag of toys and snacks had lost its allure long before we left Dublin to spend a night in Heathrow.
Next morning, miraculously, we got on a flight to Thailand and entered the bedlam of Terminal 3 departures: biblical crowds, impossible queues for coffee and toilets, irrational fear that your children will be snatched if you let them drift off to buy a packet of Pringles.
Finally, we got the call to the gate - and, at last, a break. When they called for parents with children to board first, we pushed six-year-old Amy to the fore, and were allowed on to the empty aircraft, along with the unfortunate couples with babies and toddlers.
The poor kids were about to install themselves in business class before we were directed down the back to Siberia. At least we had first dibs at the magazine rack before settling in row 52. Bags were stowed and we were ready for flight.
But wait: no individual TV screens? A disaster for the under-10s. Amy couldn't see over the headrests to watch the screen up there in the distance. In any case the reception was dreadful, the headphones were full of static and right in front was a girl wearing an incredibly annoying high ponytail.
We sat four in a row, with one across the aisle, which meant that at least most of us could collapse against each other. We could have booked the bulkhead seats, and had more legroom, or asked for three window seats, so that at least there was something to sleep against. These are things you agonise about a lot when you have 12 hours to go.
The Marks Spencer blow-up pillows were a let-down, if you'll pardon the pun. Useless things. Instead, our 15- and 12-year-old fought and bickered with Amy over a pink sausage-shaped pillow from duty free that had a horrible chemical smell but was ridiculously comfortable . . . for about two minutes.
Amy went to the toilet a lot, squeezing past the trolleys for fun and running to the back of the aircraft, where at least you can loiter for 10 minutes at a time, looking out over the endless peaks of Afghanistan. Inflight service took up a good chunk of time, with much spilling of drinks and horrified probing of stewy noodles under foil wrappers.
We could have booked some children's meals online. They looked a lot nicer, and they were served before everyone else's. And they come with toys.
Thai Airways does a line in self-assembly dinosaurs that couldn't compete with Nintendo DS. What a brilliant gizmo that is. Hours of peace thanks to the SpongeBob SquarePants and Ratatouille games.
Still, time went by very slowly. We watched movies, read books and swapped newspapers with the next row, and still we had hours and hours to go.
The older ones were terrified by turbulence. Trapped wind and swollen ankles were among the other gripes. No one could sleep except for a woman across the way who somehow had a free seat next to her and was now lying flat out, feet in the aisle, unconscious. I hated her.
Now we regretted our high-minded stance on in-flight medication. Friends had recommended Dozol and Phenergan. The GP had frowned on all that, and so did we, but then the children didn't need it. Miraculously, they slept. Half way to Bangkok, I would have paid €1,000 for half a sleeping tablet.
OM
Go with
Gameboy or Nintendo occupies kids for hours
Wipes and tissues for the inevitable spills
Gripping novels
Pens to fill in the landing cards
Spare T-shirts and pants for everyone in case the baggage gets lost
Want to keep the kids happy? Then follow these tips before you book 1First things first: have a real conversation with your travel agents before booking. They should be experts on the variations between airlines and routes. If you're not happy with their answers, take your business to a company that can answer them. This trip is going to cost a lot, so you deserve to have all your concerns assuaged. For first- time long-haulers, the staff at Trailfinders (www.trail finders.ie) includes a former nanny who can offer practical advice.
2Parents of toddlers should ask about their seat security. On British Airways flights, toddlers can travel free in a Britax seat that fits on to the bulkhead. You have to request the seat before the flight; they're available on a first-come, first-served basis.
3Ask about what services an airline provides in the air, the number of nappy-changing stations on the aircraft, and any additional resources on offer, such as baby food, fruit and nappies. Singapore Airlines provides a baby bag containing nappies and wipes, which in theory cuts down on your carry-on load, but they're a one-size-fits-all variety, and if your child, like mine, has epic bowel movements, it might be safer to bring your own.
Fly direct where possible. If you change airlines you'll have to check in your luggage again - no fun with a bunch of screaming kids in tow. And although flying direct is more expensive, meals and bribes at stopover airports also cost quite a penny.
4Ask about the best places to sit. Bulkhead seats are often recommended, but the fact that you have to stow all carry-on luggage in the overhead lockers during turbulence and take-off means it can be more hassle than it's worth. The back row can be a better option, as there's no one behind you, which cuts down on the number of passengers your kids can bother. They can also move around more. See www. seatguru.com for comparisons between airlines in terms of seat pitch and width.
5Consider food on board. Most airlines offer nuggets, burgers and chips, and other so-called kid's menu staples. These and any toys and sweets on offer need to be booked in advance to ensure your child gets them. Where possible, do it when you book the seats. Such bookings need to be made more than 24 hours before departure. Put it on the list of things to do to save meal-envy tantrums on board.
Pack fruit, bananas, apples and berries, as well as snacks that can go in your carry-on luggage. The periods between meals can seem like an eternity to some kids. Pack water also.
6If you need baby's bottles, don't make up formula; in my experience it just goes off. Invest instead in one of the formula dividers that you can buy in most pharmacies. Fill sterilised bottles with sterilised water at home before you leave. Add that to the long list of things to double-check. You won't have access to sterilised water onboard.
Many airlines will tell you that they can heat your bottles for you. Technical problems may mean that some will not come good on that promise. You're more flexible if you can get the child used to room-temperature feeds before you fly.
7Make a list, and check it twice, of carry-on-bag essentials. Bring lots of baby wipes. They tidy up all sorts of accidents and multitask as face- and hand-cleaners.
If you have a child of teething age, invest in Nelson's Chamomilla, a homeopathic teething tincture from Nelson's natural medicines (01-6790451). It comes in a brown glass bottle with a glass dropper, which is not very user-friendly in a confined space. Decant into a small plastic spritzing bottle before you fly. A sedative solution for teething babies is also advisable, as is something to reduce temperatures.
Pack an extra set of clothes for every member in your party. There's every chance you might miss your connecting flight and need to freshen up. And accidents do happen.
Pack large Ziplock bags. They're good for everything from storing half-eaten meals that might come in handy later to standing in as nappy bags.
8Invest in an iPod or MP3 player and load your children's favourite music, nursery rhymes and the like on to it. Load CD books too. These stories last for hours.
When booking, ask your agent if each seat has its own television screen. Virgin Atlantic is one airline with seatback TV offering dedicated kids' channels, as well 35 Nintendo games and a parental-block system.
If your child is travelling on his or her birthday, Emirates will prepare a cake to celebrate. This, like the kids' meals, needs to be booked in advance.
Also ask about its Flying Camera channel, where the kids can get a pilot's-eye view of take-off and landing, as well as en-route scenery.
Etihad Airways also offers birthday cakes (made with or without eggs) if booked at least 48 hours in advance.
9Ask for help. Ask nicely and most stewards will offer aid. Air France's Planète Bleue service has "family assistants" available on long-haul flights in the Antilles, Indian Ocean, Africa and the Middle East network. Gulf Air has extended its Sky Nanny childcare service to its Bahrain lounge, from 8am to 2pm each day.
10Plan your accommodation and babysitting. When booking your holiday, ask about kids' clubs at the destination. High-end hotels have also tapped into children's needs. "Many of the best luxury hotels of the islands in the Caribbean, Indian Ocean, Asia and the Middle East have cottoned on to the fact that parents still want luxury but want somewhere for the kids to have fun - hence the boom in kids clubs," says Dave Hayeems of Trailfinders.
Ask if your hotel or self-catering property has laundry services. This can cut down on the amount of baggage you take with you.
Book babysitting services in advance so you know you have a few nights free to kick up your heels. Don't assume because you've made this request that a formal booking has been made.
You will have to contact the hotel directly and stay on the case to ensure the request is made. Be sure to get written confirmation by e-mail in case of crossed wires.
Another trend gaining momentum is to bring your babysitter on holiday with you. If you have a good relationship with yours, consider inviting them on a working holiday. They get a fortnight in the sun in exchange for some nights of babysitting.
AG