Looking for a beautiful island hideaway? Manchán Maganknows just the place: La Gomera, a tiny Canary Island whose rich culture has barely changed for thousands of years
IMAGINE IF EUROPE had a warm, palm-beached paradise, with cloud-forested mountains, stunning views and cheap, top-rate accommodation. A secret island hideaway with no scheduled international flights but only a few kilometres from an international hub with cheap charters from Dublin and Cork and even cheaper flights with Aer Lingus and Ryanair. The good news is that it exists. It's a hidden paradise, and it kills me to have to reveal it.
La Gomera is a Garden of Eden. The tiny island - just 22km wide - is only 45 minutes by boat from Tenerife, yet it is light years away from it in terms of foam-disco debauchery and wet T-shirt competitions. It has a rich culture that, because of the island's remoteness and ruggedness, has remained largely unchanged for millennia.
Rather than me gushing on about it, let's instead take an imaginary journey there. You arrive in San Sebastián, the capital, a somnolent, cliff- clinging pueblo that wouldn't be out of place in Guatemala or Colombia. Imagine, for example, a flower-decked plaza with old folk asleep on benches beneath palm trees, and beautiful wood-framed conquistador town houses built around fountained courtyards and ornately carved balconies.
You could head straight up to Parador de Gomera, a colonial-mansion hotel with lush gardens and beautiful antique furniture, but instead I want you to get on a bus. Any bus.
There are only four routes on the island, and all of them bring you corkscrewing up into the mountains along stomach-churning roads that lead, at least partially, through Garajonay National Park, a pre-Ice Age deciduous forest that covers a tenth of the island and has been declared a Unesco World Heritage Site.
The landscape looks uncannily like that around Machu Picchu. the fortified town in the Andes. You expect to see Incas around every bend. Within an hour you will have a fair idea of why the place is so special, but you'll still have seen only a tiny fraction of it - despite its smallness, it is so rippled with canyons and cliffs that it appears to stretch on forever.
Around every bend are more verdant flanks of rainforest disappearing in swirling fog, while beneath you the land drops dizzyingly away into cavernous green ravines that gouge into the earth for kilometres, until, finally, they end in an arc of shimmering Atlantic.
Here even the locals bless themselves at every bend, and you need nerves of steel - or cojones - to dare look down into the sheer volcanic precipices that tumble into barren canyons with only a loan cactus or palm tree to break your fall. Trucks, donkeys and German mountain bikers suddenly emerge at you out of the mist to add to the fun.
By now you will be asking yourself why you have never heard about this place before. You will be pinching yourself, disbelieving such a paradise could exist. And you haven't seen the best bit yet.
At some point you're going to emerge from the mist, reborn into a new world on the far side of the island. If you've taken route 1 - which I hope you have, although routes 2 and 3 are fine, too - you will emerge an hour and 40 minutes later in Valle Gran Rey, the Valley of the Great King, where the tribal chieftain of the Guanche people, the indigenous islanders, lived before the Spanish came and murdered, enslaved or interbred with them all.
You'll see immediately why he chose this area. It's simply beautiful: lush interlocking spurs stepped with stone-lined terraces of vines, vegetables, palm trees and bananas.
Interspersed here and there are low-slung stone-roofed farmhouses dug into the hillside. By now you'll be so excited you'll want to e-mail me in eternal gratitude. (There's really no need.)
Instead, head down to the strand at La Playa or Vueltas and find yourself an apartment - every house has a few for rent - then sit back and enjoy. Although I'd prefer if you didn't just laze on the beach all day. Get up and do something, for God's sake. This is a popular destination for alternative, eco-type Germans; healthy activities are available for every moment of the day.
Sign up for one of the bike safaris through the aromatic cedar forest or through the banana terraces of Vallehermosa. Or perhaps you'll try the humid laurel rainforest, a prehistoric landscape perfectly preserved by the fortunate fact that La Gomera managed to avoid the last ice age. This is the same forest that once covered all of southern Europe.
Strap on your hiking boots and climb into the barrancos (ravines) to the most remove villages - achingly pretty communities that have maintained their way of life, their traditional crafts and their methods of farming on narrow, hand-shaped terraces. Until recently inaccessible terrain cut most of the island off from the outside world, and the old shepherd trails you're hiking on were the only way of getting from village to village.
Conscious of the Irish obsession with golf, I suppose I ought to say something about golfing facilities on the island. How about: Get a life! Couldn't you for once try a yoga class or kundalini dance meditation at Argayall, an ecological resort on a lush farm of papaya, mango and maracuja trees? I'm not asking you to stay in one of its tepees or pyramid huts, although I would heartily recommend it. I'm just asking you to spend an afternoon in the yogaor meditation hall; that's all.
At least make sure to check out El Silbo, the traditional whisling language; it's a form of Guanche communication that was taken on by Spanish settlers in the 15th century and used as a way of communicating across the barrancos. Only a few of the old folk speak (blow?) it now, but the government has instigated a revival, and it's now compulsory in schools. Ask some of the children to speak it.
Maybe if tourists did the same to us we mightn't be quite so ashamed and awkward about our own language.
One of the great pleasures of La Gomera is the pride the locals have in their culture. You will invariably be encouraged to try the berros, a delicious watercress soup, or almogrote, a goat's-cheese-and-olive-oil dip with gofio bread, made from toasted maize flour. Or papas arrugadas con mojo verde or picante - wrinkly salted potatoes with a pesto or chilli sauce - or a goat or rabbit stew.
The best way to experience traditional culture is to stay in a casa rurale, one of the 60 perfectly preserved rural farmhouses that are hidden in the remotest regions.
To sum up, the best and worst things about La Gomera are the Germans. On the plus side they ensure excellent bakeries, with wholegrain bread and nut cakes, wurst in the shops, pilsner and weissbier in the bars and daily healthy outdoor activities.
The only drawback is that primmer readers might consider the ubiquity of nude Teutonic bathers a problem. If you can't beat them join them is my advice. It won't do you a bit of harm. And if you really find starry-eyed, drum-touting German hippies juggling or strumming guitars on the beach a problem, go elsewhere.
Island life
Where to stay
For a range of accommodation, plus tourist information, see www.gomera-island.com. For a classy stay, try Parador de Gomera, in San Sebastián (www.parador.es). To rent a traditional farmhouse, see www.ecotourismogomera.com. For cheery apartments in a family home on the seafront, e-mail aptosmariaisabel@ hotmail.com or visit www.casascanarias.co.uk.
Where to eat
Try Mirador de César Manrique in Valle Gran Rey (00-34-922- 805868), which has stunning views. Pan de Vuelta and
La Namera Dulceria, both also in Valle Gran Rey, are great cafe-bakeries.
What to do
For biking tours, see www.bikers-inn.eu. For hiking tours, see www.timah.net.
For yoga, massage and accommodation in a holistic commune: www.argayall.com
Where to see
San Sebastián's buildings associated with Christopher Columbus, who stopped on his way to "discovering" America.
Go there
Aer Lingus, Ryanair and Budget Travel fly to Tenerife South Airport. From there take a bus or taxi to the port, 20 minutes away, to catch a ferry to La Gomera.
Fred Olsen (www.fred olsen.es) and Naviera Armas (www.naviera armas.com) ferries both serve La Gomera, although you'll then have to take a white- knuckle bus across the island. If you don't fancy that, use the hydrofoil (www.garajonayexpres.com), which is cheaper than the ferry and sails right around the island to Valle Gran Rey.