Go Sport: Kandersteg, in the Bernese Alps, is perfect for novice skiers, families and anyone seeking less demanding pursuits, writes Mal Rogers
AS MY OLD school teacher used to say: find out what you don't do well. And then don't do it. That's roughly been my lifelong position on sport. But a few years back I was persuaded to go on the piste, and with much perseverance - and despite regularly sprawling in a purple-faced, hyperventilating tangle in the snow - I managed to reach a lowly level of proficiency.
I've never really graduated much beyond that - it's hard to find places where you can feel comfortable just tootling down a few gentle slopes. Then one day a Cork man told me about the perfect place for beginners, novices, intermediate skiers and families. Kandersteg, about an hour or so from Berne, has a few blue runs and a couple of red runs, "but there's no black runs - the ultimate laxative," Tomás Bagge assured me.
The Kandersteg tourist office employs Bagge to welcome English-speaking visitors to the village, help them get orientated and act as a guide. His main thing is mountain hiking in the summer season, but the Cork man will also point you in the right direction when the snows come and is particularly keen to encourage Irish visitors to the area. "I live in Freiburg," he said, "but I'm married to a Swiss lady. I like to speak German with a Cork accent - German is a bit too harsh, I think." Before long he'll be comparing the rival claims of Kandersteg and Berne as to which should be the real capital.
Bagge has led people from all over Ireland through the ravines, defiles and cols of the Bernese Alps. And what a place it is. Jagged, raw peaks tower above the Kander valley, stark in the clear crystal air. It is beyond epic. It is nothing short of breathtaking.
Although dedicated largely to ski tourism, Kandersteg gives the appearance of running to a farming rhythm. This is a mountain village, not a mountain resort, the tourist board will tell you. There's a hint of feudalism in the air, and you get the feeling that the year turns slowly here, like an old creaking cider press. It's all very appealing. The tractor chugging down the main street is probably carrying the cheese for your fondue.
The prosaic facts about Kandersteg are this: the village is at the very end of the Kander Valley, close to the borders of the canton of Valais. Spread out over a flat stretch of valley floor at a height of 1,100m, the majestic Blümlisalp range surrounds it. Several peaks top 3,600m - that's about half a dozen Croagh Patricks stacked on top of one another.
Kandersteg is a one-stop shop for winter activities - downhill skiing, cross-country skiing, ice-skating, ice-climbing, snowboarding, tobogganing, making snowmen and snow angels, and snowshoe hiking. You'll spot ibexes on the mountain ledges and red deer slinking away into the forest, and, if you're really lucky, you might just catch sight of a chamois. Prized as a culinary speciality, chamois meat is said to be the most tender available. And you've a ready-made cloth to do the washing up with later, I suppose.
If you're a novice or average skier - or just interested in winter - this is the ideal place. It's much cheaper than the likes of Zermatt or Chamonix, a friendly place with a noted lack of Prada-clad skiers.
There's little in the way of apres-ski clubbing, although I do have to tell you that it was my good fortune to be staying at Hotel Victoria Ritter at the same time as the ladies of the Berner Trachtenvereinigung. This group of traditional Bernese dancers were having their annual beano - they've been coming here for 19 years. Kandersteg's that sort of place. They wouldn't hear of anyone not dancing, so I was delighted to attempt a Trachtentanz, or Swiss polka, even though I had no traditional costume with me. Easier than skiing, just about, but apparently Er hat zwei linke Beine is German for "he has two left feet".
In the normal course of events, however, you have to make your own entertainment, although the village has ample restaurants. You'll work hard not to be tempted by meals of baronial proportions - schnitzels and sausages full of piggy goodness, local delicacies such as soup with cheese dumplings and, of course, apple strudel.
A good bottle of local Swiss red will wash it all down nicely, and most hotels have cosy bars where you can anchor yourself for the rest of the night.
Kandersteg is the ideal place for - and let's not beat about the bush here - the more chronologically challenged. You don't even really need to ski - tobogganing will provide you with your daily requirement of adrenaline, while snowshoe hiking is great fun, even if, somewhat disappointingly, snowshoes don't look like tennis rackets any more.
And you never know what else might happen. You could meet a Swiss ladies' traditional dancing team, thereby slightly increasing your risk of injury. But so what? I need hardly remind you that Dr Klaus Martens developed his famous Doc Martens boot after a skiing accident in 1945.
• Mal Rogers was a guest of Hotel Victoria Ritter and Kandersteg Tourist Board
Go there: Kandersteg is three hours by train from Geneva and about two hours from both Basle and Zurich. Aer Lingus (www.aerlingus. com) flies to Geneva from Dublin and Cork, and to Zurich from Dublin. Ryanair (www.ryanair.com) flies to Basle. Most hotels will pick you up at the airport.
Where to stay, where to eat and where to go
Where to stay
• Hotel Victoria Ritter. Hauptstrasse, 00-41-33-6758000, www.hotel-victoria.ch. An excellent three-star family-run hotel. A daily club for children aged three and up runs from 1pm to 9pm, in tandem with the children's ski school nearby. The ebullient host, Casi, also escorts torch-lit snowshoe walks through the neighbouring forest, with much mulled wine, yodelling and singing. Doubles from €106 to €169, including breakfast. Half-board deals available.
• Royal Park Hotel. 1-3 Bellevuestrasse, 00-41-33-6758888, www.royalkandersteg.com. A five-star hotel with spa, decadent wellness centre and spectacular widescreen view of the Kander valley. Saunas, jacuzzis and massage treatments compete for your attention - and there really is nothing like sitting in an heated outdoor pool with flakes of snow melting silently on the warm water. Double rooms (without breakfast) €195-€325.
• Waldhotel Dolderhorn. Doldenhorn, 00-41-33-6758181, www.doldenhorn-ruedihus.ch. A four-star traditional hotel with pointy roof and huge icicles hanging like daggers from the eaves. This is the sort of place guaranteed to put you in Sound of Music mode, even though that's the next country along. The restaurant is highly rated - here the pampering begins at breakfast, with triple helpings of your full Swiss should you so desire. Double rooms cost €155-€260.
• Hotel Adler. Hauptstrasse, 00-41-33-6758010, www.hoteladler.ch. A cosy three-star hotel, the Adler also boasts a top-class restaurant. Go for the lake trout grilled on a wood fire for dinner. Double rooms €110-€135.
• Hotel zur Post. Hauptstrasse, 00-41-33-6751258, www.hotel-zur-post.ch. This typical Swiss hotel has 13 simple but cosy rooms. It's all wooden, and there's no telly, but you do get a staggering widescreen view of the Alps from your bed. The hotel also boasts its own bowling alley - an old wooden affair in the bar downstairs. Prices begin at about €40 per person per night.
Where to eat
• Arven Veranda. Hotel-Restaurant Blümlisalp, Hauptstrasse, 00-44-33-6751844, www.hotel-bluemlisalp.ch. Despite their modesty, self-indulgence is not something the Swiss shrink from. The Arven Veranda panders to that predilection, with delicious traditional dishes made from local produce. Tuck into a rösti and cheese, or thick slices of venison.
• Schweizerhof Cafe. Hauptstrasse, 00-41-33-6752200. This striking Belle Époque restaurant in the centre of the village is perfect for lunch or morning coffee. Try the Zopf, a local bread, for breakfast.
• Hotel Victoria Ritter. Hauptstrasse, 00-41-33-6758000, www.hotel-victoria.ch. Top-quality cuisine - try strips of veal, bacon or vegetables cooked at your table on a metal contraption that steams your meat, infusing it with the flavour of mountain herbs. Goes down exceptionally well with one of the splendid Valais wines, particularly the Fendant white wine from around the Lake of Thun.
• Restaurant Oeschinensee. 00-41-33-6751119. The view from here is one of the finest in the world, overlooking the Oeschinen Lake. The meals are first-class, too - owner David Wanfluh farms the pastures and fishes the lake, so the produce couldn't be more local. For starters try the local delicacies of Hobelkäse (two-year-old cheese cut as thin as wood shavings) or the very red and delicious Trockenfleisch (air-dried beef).
• Au Vieux Chalet. Dorfstrasse, 00-41-33-6751481. You can go the full traditional route in this cosy and snug eatery with cheese fondue soaked up with farm bread and washed down with glühwein.
Where to go
• Visit the Oeschinen Lake, which lies 1,579m above sea level at the foot of Blümlisalp and regularly makes it on to lists of places to see before you die. Surrounded by pine forests, glaciers, rivers and high pastures, in the winter you can ice-fish in the middle of the lake, or cross-country ski across it. To reach it you have to take the Chairlift Kandersteg- Oeschinensee (the newly opened Gondelbahn), then from the top cable-car station hike uphill for about 20 minutes.
• Go tobogganing. From the top cable-car station on the Gondelbahn you can sledge past the old wooden Catholic church, past the doctor's, past the tractor shop and into the centre of the village. It's even more fun at midnight, when the sleigh run is floodlit.
• Take a cross-country ski run. Kandersteg has 75km of cross-country ski routes, including one that goes right through the village - so you could join the locals and do your messages en route. The trail then leads through silent coniferous forests and over pastures buried in drifts.
• Winter hiking. A few trails are open for hiking over the winter, depending on weather conditions and time of year. Contact Tomás Bagge on tomas@kandersteg.ch. Alternatively you could go ice-skating or have a game of curling or ice hockey.