GO FEEDBACK:All-in resorts may be passé for young travellers – but nobody's told the Turks, who are ambitiously building some of the best, writes ROSEMARY MAC CABE
THERE'S A moment in Dirty Dancingin which Mr Kelleher, the proprietor of Kelleher's summertime resort, laments the changing times and the imminent collapse of the resort industry. "It all seems to be ending," he says. "You think kids want to come with their parents and take foxtrot lessons?"
It’s an insight the audience has had all along; beneath the squeaky-clean facade of tango classes and boules on the green is a seedy underbelly of raunchy club dancers and sweaty, writhing bodies; the “entertainment” provided by the resort itself entertains the over-the-hill grown-ups while the teenagers long for more tantalising matters.
In 2011, it's a discussion that is, surely, unnecessary. Instead of playing boules with the old folks, we're travelling around southeast Asia with friends we met; inter-railing through Budapest; horse-riding in the Sierra Nevada with our college friends – one of whom has written thenovel of the noughties, if someone would just recognise his genius; going on a surf 'n' bikini bootcamp in Maui. Resorts: who'd have 'em?
Well it’s a memo nobody sent the Turks, and thank goodness for that – because it’s a tradition that suits the country to its capital T, and allows it to straddle the divide between East and West, between costumery and plain ol’ debauchery, presenting clean-cut resort living (boules an’ all) alongside a nightlife that would make Calum Best quake in his Armani boots.
The all-inclusive Venosa Beach Resort & Spa is in the Altinkum-Didim area on the Aegean coast, 80km from Bodrum airport and 140km from Izmir, and a mere 15-minute drive from Didyma. Walking in its shiny revolving doors is like moving from one world to another – from the hot, dry heat of the Turkish climate (in May temperatures averaged 29 degrees) to the cool, air conditioned sanitation of a five-star hotel built on money and ambition.
And the ambition shows. The hotel has three à la carteas well as a large self-service restaurant, which serves a huge buffet for breakfast, lunch and dinner from its marble islands. Each bedroom has a coast-facing balcony overlooking the hotel's private beach, along with TVs, power showers and towels that are replaced twice daily while your room is given the once over and all traces of the day's activities are cleaned away.
In the morning, once you’ve feasted on your selection of breads, pastries, cheese, meats, fruits, yoghurts or a cooked breakfast, hotel staff jauntily trot around the restaurant and pool areas, filling you in on the upcoming activities. “There’s aqua fit in the pool at 11am – do you want to join in?” (Having once been told, by a gym instructor no less, that aqua fit is “for old ladies who can’t climb stairs”, I’ll be giving that one a miss.) At midday, there’s boules on the beach – after that, an aerobics class in the amphitheatre. Aerobics in 30-degree heat may not be any sane person’s idea of fun, but at least you won’t be bored.
And if group activities aren’t your thing, take a walk along the private beach and meet Marco, the enthusiastic young Turk with the confusingly complicated handshakes who will take you banana boating, jetskiing or kayaking out on the calm sea.
The hotel also has a spa on the lower ground floor, where you can avail of a Turkish bath (around €50). During this exercise in extreme relaxation, you lie on a marble slab while a therapist scrubs and massages you into oblivion, before you’re given a face mask and installed on a lounger in a quiet room with a cup of sweet apple tea, a Turkish speciality, to fight the temptation of sleep.
As the hotel is all-inclusive, you will neither go hungry nor thirsty, with the bar serving alcoholic beverages from 10am until 11pm, and non-alcoholic beverages from 8am. (Outside of scheduled times, food and drink can be ordered, but you will incur a cost.) There's a touch of the Wall-Eabout things, as people float in a daze, munching on burgers by the pool or guzzling beers at noon – and the odd excursion is necessary in order to experience the real Turkey, or to take a break from the non-stop wining and dining.
A holiday in Turkey is about two things: sun and culture. Days at the Venosa can be spent soaking up the heat – heat that can rise to 45 degrees-plus in high summer, and will burn you before you can say “kebab”, so factor up – and, when that gets too much, excursions to local historical sites such as the Temple of Apollo, a site of pilgrimage once second only to Delphi; the ancient city of Ephesus (a two-hour bus trip away, at roughly €40); or nearby Bodrum for a boat trip out on the clear blue Aegean Sea. Nearby Altinkum, with buses running every 45 minutes or so at roughly €1 per trip, is also worth a look, with markets and a lively, bustling nightlife, especially during summer months. Of the trips available, avail of as many as possible. Ephesus is an amazing site: it was an ancient Greek, later Roman, city and once the second largest in the Roman Empire, ranking only behind Rome. It hasn’t been fully excavated but what is there to see is spectacular – the Roman library of Celcius is a stunning feat of architecture, and the theatre is overwhelming in its enormity.
A guided tour is well worth it, but bring a really high factor and lots of water – shade is not plentiful, and walking from one end of Ephesus to another, allowing for explanations and illustrations, will take at least two hours.
The temple of Apollo is another cultural delight that’s worth the visit – although, unlike Ephesus, it won’t take up your whole day. You could probably fit it in en route to Bodrum, a bustling harbour town with serious shopping possibilities – and, for those of you in search of Western coffee, a Starbucks – and a gorgeous marina, from whence you can take a day (or overnight) trip on a boat to explore the coastline. And jump in! The water’s warm – but beware rogue currents, and don’t expect anyone to come rescue the Westerner who just can’t quite make it back to the ladder. Not that this was learned by experience – no, sir.
Going all-inclusive is just one way of experiencing the resort holiday, but as far as resorts go, this is one of the best in the area – with a lot to choose from in terms of food, pools (including waterslides for the less mature visitor), daytime activities and local bars, and, unlike many similar resorts, it won’t assault you with Elvis impersonators while you eat your dinner.
*Venosa Beach Spa & Resort offers week-long packages from €499 in May, €719 in September and October, €829 in June and €1,159 in July and August. All prices are based on an individual sharing a double room and include flights, transfers and one à la carte meal.