When the editor of this magazine asked me to write about doing a pedicure yourself at home, I looked reluctantly below my desk at the set of bare, frankly feral, feet seething there. Oh no, I thought. How can I possibly write with authority about this when my own neglected trotters look more like a duo of past-best Centra sausage rolls than a functional pair of human feet?
But then I remembered something very important – this happens every year. I always think that next year, I’m going to arrange a lovely pedicure in April and then do regular footcare so that by summer they’ll be in exemplary condition. Women will turn in the streets of Dublin to behold my glowing, Birkenstocked feet, and they’ll knowingly think she probably gets regular pedicures. And then I will be a successful adult.
Reader, we both know I didn’t do it. So we’re back to the annual panic. It’s too hot for socks and shoes. My feet are a holy show. I need to firehose them into shape post-haste. While a medical pedicure really is a must for those with legitimate or chronic health issues, if your feet are just aesthetically distressing to you and are making you cringe every time the dry skin catches on your socks as you winkle them on, a few quick steps (sorry!) will sort them out.
First, a peel. Patchology Posh Peel PediCure (€12.50 at Brown Thomas, Arnotts and selected pharmacies) will have the dead skin jumping off your feet, so avoid this if you have any cracked or broken skin. There’s a similar product from a brand called Footner, available through Boots and Superdrug. They go on your feet for 60 minutes and take three-five days to work, at which point the crispy skin will migrate from your feet in search of a better life.
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Callouses will be softened and minimised, and dryness will disappear. Just don’t forget you’ve done it like a colleague of mine, and only remember a week later at Pilates when you notice a vast ruffle of dead skin dangling from your foot, at which point the class instructor sees it and audibly gags.
Moisturisation can go a long way. For cracked and calloused feet, Margaret Dabbs London Pure Cracked Heel Treatment Balm (€23.40) is a miracle worker. We really are cruel to our feet, but they deserve investment and care. This cream really lasts and treats even persistent cracks by forming a waterproof seal in the crack which helps to heal it. You can also use it regularly to nourish the feet and reinforce the skin’s barrier, keeping them from cracking and splitting again.
For a rich cream that feels like a treat for feet, try Sol de Janeiro Samba 2-Step Foot Fetish Care (€25 at Space NK). After an evening shower when skin is softened, use the file to gently buff away rough areas before applying the cream, then put on some cotton socks (if you can bear to). Feet will drink in the cream overnight, looking and feeling softer and less dull by morning.
Using your body oil on cuticles, nails and the tips of toes daily will counteract the dryness that shows up there. Most of us lack the dexterity and skill to safely trim cuticles, let alone on our feet, so leave that to the professionals, but you can safely push back softened cuticles with an orange stick (dry cuticles won’t budge) and feet will look instantly tidier, giving you more nail.
Finally, polished toenails are lovely, but very hard to do perfectly yourself, so I prefer to stick to a clear strengthening treatment that leaves nails looking healthy, clean and glossy. Sally Hansen 7-in-1 Nail Treatment (€11 at pharmacies nationwide) fills ridges, promotes growth, brightens and just generally gives nails a plumpness that counteracts the “I haven’t seen my feet in eight months and they look and feel like shrivelled ears of corn” vibe.
With these easy steps, you can both trick your editor into thinking you’re competent and feel like a grown-up who respects their feet, whether or not women marvel at them in the street. Win win!
