A battle brews over terms of endearment

A move to replace vous with tu has the French up in arms. It's different here, writes Kate Holmquist

A move to replace vous with tu has the French up in arms. It's different here, writes Kate Holmquist

Imagine if the next taoiseach were to tell us to greet each other from now on with "Howya" instead of, "Hello, pleased to meet you." And that rather than addressing people we don't know very well as Mr or Ms, we should start calling them all by their first name.

That's the rough equivalent of recently-elected French president Nicolas Sarkozy's informal edict that French people should use the familiar pronoun tu rather than the formal vous when addressing each other.

His style statement has caused a cultural storm even greater than his pre-election promise to increase the working week from 35 hours to 40. Encouraging the use of tu rather than vous is a cultural revolution in a country where status and manners are enshrined in the language.

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Traditionally in France, tu is used when speaking to young children, people you've slept with, pets, close colleagues, your best buddy and possibly your mother - if she's liberal. Socialists have always used tu as an equaliser, but most people weren't convinced.

Vous is used in more formal relationships, when speaking to people who are older or of higher social position. The sophisticated traveller already knows that when in France, use vous with everyone you meet until they use tu, which gives you permission to use the familiar.

But Nicolas Sarkozy wants to challenge this venerable tradition with its clear if claustrophobic rules. Already he and his immaculately groomed family are being called the French Kennedys for their informal, dare we say "American" style.

Many find this new mode of calling everyone tu refreshing. They're saying Nicolas Sarkozy is French for Tony Blair. On their second meeting, Nicolas addressed Tony as tu and it stuck. Nicolas, with his Hungarian background, has gained power via hard work and charisma rather than birthright. You can bet that when Nicolas and Bertie meet, it will be tu all the way.

This focus on language all seems rather foreign - or does it? We have our own way of doing things in Ireland. Here, someone knows they've been accepted by an Irish acquaintance (equivalent to being addressed as tu) when the Irish acquaintance tells them to "F off". On the Irish social scene, this is a compliment (foreign nationals, take note.) However, when experiencing road rage, saying "F off" is a bad thing.

We're just like the French in that way. If "F off" is equal to tu, it's okay to say "F off" to equals you like and admire but not to people you have little respect for. If a French person wants to insult someone, they'll always use tu - their version of "F off".

In Ireland, we also have an equivalent of vous without realising it. At job interviews, for example, nobody says "Howya Joe" unless they know they've already got the job. The sensible applicant will say, "Pleased to meet you, Mr Blog or "thank you for this opportunity, Ms Blog". It may sound smarmy, but it works.

Socially, most Irish people in a casual context will text each other to meet informally for drinks in whatever pub. This is part of the tu scene. When a woman joins the gathering, the men won't stand up and introduce themselves, which is also tu - a sort of a reverse compliment. On the other hand, if they don't offer to buy her a drink, it's way below tu and she should leave.

We also use a kind of vous code. An Irishwoman knows that a bloke is serious when he books a restaurant, collects her in his car and opens doors for her. This is vous. And a very sexy vous too. If he sends her flowers the next day, she's in vous heaven. But if he arrives late and asks her to go Dutch, that's tu - but not in a good way.

In business relationships, "let's meet for a pint/coffee" is a tu way of establishing an equal footing. Handing over your card and having your secretary schedule lunch/dinner is totally vous formality.

But the next taoiseach will want to mind his tu and vous. German Chancellor Angela Merkel, is a vous woman through and through. When writing to Nicolas, she uses the formal sie rather than the familiar du and is reported to have been put off by Nicolas addressing her as Ma Chère Angela.