Club food is often very bad and made worse by the fact that in some clubs you have to dress up to eat it. Stewards who ramble around reminding men to keep their jackets on in a stiflingly hot dining-room are part of the furniture in some of the more traditional clubs, but thankfully not in all.
Of course, the main problem with club dining is getting past the door in the first place. There's no point knowing that they serve a great mixed grill in Milltown Golf Club or fabulous fish in Howth Yacht Club if the waiting list to join is a mile long, or indeed if the list is closed off altogether.
The RDS Members Club in Ballsbridge does take new members all the time and it has a decent restaurant where you don't have to dress too smartly. Members have the use of a comfortable bar and a huge drawing-room where they can lounge around all day reading the papers if they please. Mobile phones are not allowed, but laptops are, so you could actually run a business from the depths of one of the overstuffed sofas.
There are lots of other benefits. Members get free parking in Ballsbridge, entry to all RDS events and the use of one of the nicest private libraries in Dublin. I have lunch here about once a year with a business acquaintance who is a member. He is one of those immaculately turned out gentlemen who is never without cufflinks, handkerchiefs or an umbrella, and it being a very nasty, wet day, he was able to leave a spare brolly for me with the car-park attendant so I wouldn't be drowned on the short walk from the car.
The entrance is tucked away to one side of the main doors to the events hall. Fitzers did a nice trade in another part of the building for a few years but they closed here sometime before Christmas and the room is now being used by the RDS for catered events.
Inside the members' side of things there is a big hallway with a chequered marble floor, and a huge arrangement of orange flowers. From here you go through double doors, past a big, illuminated sign reminding you that mobiles are not allowed. Then you find a long corridor lined with doors leading off to an enfilade of rooms. First is a bar, then a long drawing-room, then an elegant dining-room with heavy old bookcases and portraits hung on the deep wine red walls.
You can have a more casual lunch in the drawing-room, where there several groups of ladies were crouched around cold-salmon plates and open ham sandwiches. The bar was full of men in suits consulting menus for the £16.50 set lunch. The dining-room serves lunch only but members can book it for private dinner parties of an evening.
Ours was a roomy table for two with a good view of the bumper-to-bumper traffic outside, and starched linen napkins and cloth. We got down to business straightaway with two very good starters - Robin had pan-fried duck livers with caramelised onion and spiced lentils, while I dithered between linguine with chorizo sausage and smoked haddock with welsh rarebit, tomato and chive salad but then played safe with the grilled goat's cheese on spinach polenta. This is a dead easy starter for dinner-parties that I learned from my father-in-law. The polenta base keeps the goat's cheese from running all over the place, and also provides a nice bland balance to the sharpness of the cheese.
Yum. This one was exactly as it should be, the cheese nicely heated through to the point of runniness, the top bubbled and golden, the polenta flecked with green and a frothy top of salad leaves. It was lovely.
Robin's duck livers were perfectly cooked, nicely sauteed on the outside, soft and pinky-brown on the inside, and accompanied by a rich, aromatic stew of onions and lentils. Marvellous, if you can get over the thought of little ducks in a pond going "quack quack".
To follow, I had baked cod with a spicy crab crust and a roast pepper ragout. The crab was more of a blanket than a crust and it wasn't terribly spicy, but underneath the cod was a disaster zone. The meat was soft and mushy and the colour of skimmed milk where it should have been firm and white. Yuck! Robin did far better with his main course of roast rib-eye of beef with braised roast vegetables. This was a generous chunk of beef, seared on the outside and cooked to order medium rare on the inside.
The food was served quickly and without fuss but there was some delay with the wine. We had forgotten to order it at the very beginning of the meal and then ordered too quickly from the list, picking a Pouilly Fume for no very good reason other than we both liked it. It didn't arrive until we were starting into our main courses.
It was pricey at £22.95 but it was well chilled, dry and flinty (though the fish didn't deserve it).
I'm glad we didn't stop there because the desserts were delicious. I had chocolate and whiskey tart - a solid triangle of rich, dark chocolate that was so rich and bitter it gave me palpitations later that day. A tiny blob of whipped cream on the side provided some light relief and the obligatory berry coulis was dabbed here and there on the plate.
Robin was just as happy with his date and coffee pudding which was suitably sweet and comforting. We finished off with a cafetiere of coffee, before Robin had to head off into the traffic for a three o'clock appointment. By then, most of the other lunchers had left too though a hardcore was taking coffee in the drawing-room.
I wandered out, stopping by the ladies' cloakroom, another very large room - it too is peaceful and warm. All in all, a civilised sort of place.
The bill for two came to £58. Membership costs £200 per year, £300 for couples.
RDS Members Club, Ballsbridge, Dublin 4, 01-6689244.
