BRITAIN:FANCY A pair of "holy socks"? "Faith on your feet" for just £5.50? Or "glory golf balls" ..."for a holey in one"? Sorry. But that's what it says on the tin. And the message: "I will not hide myself from your sight." (A golf ball you will never lose?) You can have two for £13.20. Or, in these torrential days, maybe a "biblical umbrella"? You can "open your faith" with this one - "For he sends rain on the just and the unjust." Indeed. Just £15. Or aprons with piquant messages. "God is an equal opportunities employer - a pity about the church." Or "A woman's place is in the House - of Bishops".
All are available in the Marketplace at the Lambeth conference where, while there is neither needle or anchor, you will find most things ecclesiastical in between.
Chalices? All at 10 per cent discount yesterday, with just three full days of the conference left. Great bargains from £175 (including VAT). No go? Then how about your very own crozier? A wooden one costs just £998. But who wants a lightweight crozier? It doesn't carry the same clout...er, authority as a metal one. From £1,110.
But the real bargains are at the ecclesiastical outfitters' stalls, where a bishop's mauve shirts are going for just £10. Or your very own mitre for a meagre £250? A chasuble? You know, that outer vestment worn by priest or bishop. But, please, we're only dealing with bishops here. All at 15 per cent discount. One on special offer was down from £1,094 to a mere £820. Where would you be going!
But, you can also have chasubles for free. Seriously. Linda Chambers of the USPG Anglicans in World Mission stall says all their recycled chasubles are free. Linda is from Mohill. Lovely Leitrim where, like mink, even the chasubles are free.