Dáil Sketch Miriam LordThis Government has no time for them. Who do they think they are? Bertie Ahern? If there's any moanin' and cribbin' required, it'll be done by the Taoiseach, thank you very much. He's been returned to power for a record third successive term. How dare the Opposition presume to hold him to account.
It's a downright impertinence.
Look on his successes, ye minions, and despair! Now run along and don't be asking difficult questions. Bertie and his Ministers are above all that now.
Taoiseach Ahern abandoned the Dáil yesterday so he could address the unions in Donegal. True to form - at least that's how Bertie would have it - the Opposition moaned and cribbed and accused him of showing disrespect.
"It is a mark of contempt and arrogance of gross order that, on every opportunity, the Taoiseach flees from the House and doesn't come here to do his duty," moaned Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny.
Many deputies had tabled questions to the Taoiseach and were expecting them to be dealt with yesterday. "Now we are being told we must wait until the end of September. Why won't he come in tomorrow to answer questions? "Whey can't he be back here this afternoon?" cribbed Bernard Allen.
See if Bertie cared. He was away in Bundoran, preparing to open his mouth and plant his foot in it. His speech landed on desks in Leinster House as the complaints about his absence raged in the Dáil chamber.
The Labour Party wasn't happy for a different reason. Pat Rabbitte highlighted the growing frustration of deputies who can't get answers from Ministers to routine parliamentary questions.
Taking their cue from their Taoiseach, it seems Ministers have also decided they are too important now to deal with direct queries from mere elected representatives. Deputy Rabbitte says Ministers are ducking their responsibilities by transferring questions to outside authorities.
These days, TDs who want to ask the Taoiseach about a matter concerning the attorney general's office are likely to be told to contact the Courts Service. When they make inquires of the Health Minister, they are fobbed off and told to contact the HSE, and so on.
At least Rabbitte has Leaders' Questions twice a week to try and winkle some accountability out of the Government. Two minutes to ask a question, and one minute to follow it up.
Yesterday, Kenny asked Brian Cowen, standing in for Bertie, when will Fianna Fáil be introducing those tax cuts it promised during the election?
"The commitments made in the programme for government stand on the basis of the overall macro-economic stance the Government is taking . . .," waffled Biffo.
Enda's only a moaner and a cribber anyway. Just like those economic commentators audacious enough to question the Taoiseach.
"Sittin' on the sidelines or on the fence, cribbin' and moanin'," whinged Bertie up in Bundoran. "I don't know why people who are engaged in that don't commit suicide."
"Bad choice of words," he grinned ruefully afterwards, but standing by the sentiment.
Bet he wished he had stayed in Dublin, where he can insult and ignore the Opposition moaners to his heart's content.