`Ads'

The enthusiasm of small traders for startling advertisement often produces amusing examples of mis-statement and ambiguity

The enthusiasm of small traders for startling advertisement often produces amusing examples of mis-statement and ambiguity. The other day in a seaside town I noticed a fishmonger's sign-board, bearing the snappy slogan: "If it swims, we have it."

This struck me as being a very sweeping statement, since I retain doubts whether the enterprising trader could, on demand, supply a whale, a sturgeon or a stickleback - all of which, as I have been led to believe, flirt a pretty fin. A little further I came upon a trader whom vigorous competition has induced to display an obviously home-made poster. This advised shoppers to "Stop and Look. Don't be swindled elsewhere" - a delightful piece of ambiguity which, I am sure, passed unnoticed by the trader and his customers.

Similarity, a city book shop displayed a poster, stating that "Father Willie Doyle is now reduced to 7s. 6d."

At first blush I was almost induced to believe that the reverend gentleman was in straitened circumstances, but a little examination showed me that it referred to the biography of a gallant soldier, scholar and divine.

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The Irish Times,

July 31st, 1931.