Dail Sketch/Frank McNally:The down side of giving up beer, as Bertie Ahern does every November, is that your credentials as a man of the people might be temporarily undermined.
So it was reassuring to read in a weekend interview that Mr Ahern is keeping up his strength with Bovril, another great staple of football terraces and working men. Bovril may no longer be full of meaty goodness - the meat was replaced by yeast extract last year amid falling sales and concerns about mad cows. But one of its traditional ingredients - street credibility - is still guaranteed.
Credibility in the Dáil is another matter. Mr Ahern's common touch is admired even by his enemies. Yet again yesterday, however, Opposition parties were frustrated by the lack of beef content in his answers.
Mr Ahern agreed with Joe Higgins that Irish Ferries snubbing the Labour Court was a bad thing. He agreed with Pat Rabbitte that gang members killing each other on the streets was even worse. But both questioners were moved to complain that there was no point in him being so agreeable; the issue was what he was going to do. "I hope All Hallows gets more satisfaction out of your replies," muttered Mr Higgins.
These are confusing days in Irish politics. Charlie McCreevy's two named socialists appear to have nothing in common, and the unidentified third - who might provide the crucial missing link between Bertie and Joe - is still at large. Meanwhile, the Taoiseach is ruling out any coalition with Sinn Féin because its lefty economic policies are incompatible with his. And while Sinn Féin's performance in the North suggests socialism will not be its big priority in Government, neither side seems ready to admit this.
In such a crazy, mixed-up game, it was no surprise that Labour mounted its strongest attack yesterday on the referee. First, Mr Rabbitte accused the Ceann Comhairle of being "outrageously pedantic" in narrowing the scope of opposition questions. Then Emmet Stagg accused him of - gasp! - unilaterally abolishing Standing Order 31.
In the Dáil pantomime, Standing Order 31 is the glass slipper routine. It allows any TD to demand an emergency debate on a named issue of national importance. So every day, deputies queue like ugly sisters and Prince Charming (Dr Rory O'Hanlon) offers them the slipper before deciding that their issues don't quite fit.
Whether Caoimhghín Ó Caoláin will ever be Cinderella to Bertie's prince remains a mystery. Relations were notably civil yesterday. But surely it was a subconscious urge that caused the SF man to ask about the rules for Dáil "pairings" (whereby the Government's majority is safeguarded when Ministers are absent on official duty).
Mr Ahern joked that it was 23 years since he'd been chief whip and he could hardly remember. Then, ever affable, he explained anyway. As fellow socialists (albeit without the McCreevy quality mark) the Sinn Féin members could only watch and learn from a man who has taken power with a pint of Bass in one hand and a Bovril in the other.