The parents of Matthew Eappen have spoken for the first time in public about their belief that their child's nanny, Louise Woodward, murdered the baby boy. In two extraordinary interviews that were screened in the United States while the jury in Ms Woodward's trial was spending its second night in a hotel after failing to reach a verdict, the two doctors spoke bitterly about their former au pair.
Dr Sunny Eappen (31), an anaesthetist, said: "There is no doubt in my mind that she murdered Matthew. I think I failed Matthew. I really feel that. I think I failed him in the simplest thing I had to deliver to him and it really hurts and I will carry that forever.
"I really wish I could have stopped her."
The interviews were broadcast on CBS's Public Eye programme. One was recorded the previous evening and the second was broadcast live after the couple flew to New York on Wednesday night.
Dr Deborah Eappen (32), an ophthalmologist, also spoke of her feelings about Ms Woodward.
"Crazy things race through my mind and I think of her feeling bad and her suffering in some way and living with it and dying with it and hopefully not finishing up in the same place as Matthew.
"She once told me she didn't want to have children. I hope she doesn't have any children in her life."
They also talked angrily about medical experts who have testified for the defence that Matthew had suffered an old injury.
"The defence calling these doctors was an embarrassment to the profession, it was a travesty," said Dr Sunny Eappen.
His wife described the medical evidence called by the defence as "totally ridiculous". "It is a just a big cloud of confusion," she said.
The couple defended themselves against criticism voiced in the United States over putting their then six-month-old son in the care of a teenager.
Dr Deborah Eappen said the criticism had left her "totally stunned". She said: "They are saying `She didn't have to work, why was she working?' Now if I was working because I had to work, would that be OK, would my son's death be wrong?
"It is people saying to themselves, `I am protected from this because I didn't do what the Eappens did'. "
Her husband was asked how he would feel if the 19-year-old were found guilty. He said: "I think I wouldn't feel better when I think about Matthew but what I will feel is that the person responsible for killing my son has been found responsible, I think there is a certain satisfaction in that."
Asked how she would feel if Ms Woodward were acquitted, the child's mother replied: "I guess I'll feel victimised again . . . there's no one else responsible for his death but Louise."
The couple, who have never given an interview since Matthew's death, spoke movingly about their other son, two-year-old Brendan, whom Ms Woodward also cared for.
Dr Deborah Eappen said: "He asks a lot of questions. He started out with a lot of questions about what happened to Matthew.
"How come Mattie's in the hospital? How come Mattie's sleeping? How come Louise hurt Matthew? When is Mattie coming back? I want Mattie back. Do you think we can have another baby?"
Her husband said: "Every so often before we go to bed we'll walk outside because he will remember he has got to say goodnight to Matthew.
"He will look up to the sky and say, `There's Matthew, he's on that star up there. Goodnight Matthew'. "