Radio Review: 'A beautiful mammary system and good legs," said the beauty pageant judge, (Gerry Ryan, RTÉ 2fm, Wednesday). Isn't it refreshing when a judge comes straight out and says what he's looking for and no, of course he wasn't talking about the Rose of Tralee, though Gerry Ryan did milk comparisons between the Rosefest in the Dome and the Bailey's Cow Competition at the Virginia Show for all it was worth.
The ever-enthusiastic Brenda Donohue, back reporting after a long absence, was at the show in Cavan and she discovered that, in the cow pageant world, hair extensions are common (a scraggly tail isn't the best look), talcum powder makes a white cow look whiter and, weirdest of all, rouge is applied to udders to make them look pinker. Who knew life had become so competitive and complicated for our bovine sisters in Cavan - and they can't even blame women's magazines for their new body consciousness.
It's back-to-school time and the big names in RTÉ are starting to shake the sand out of their shoes - but all were coming back to sliding listenership figures. Ryan was the first to return on air and while his listenership is still huge, the man of the moment, Ray D'Arcy (Today FM), continues to nip at his heels.
At least this year the Rose of Tralee didn't generate nearly as much pretend controversy of the "isn't it corny and demeaning" variety as pervious years, although Ailbhe Smith was on The Last Word with Matt Cooper (Today FM, Monday) to air the old arguments.
A proper controversy did emerge on Ryan Tubridy's show (RTÉ Radio 1, Tuesday) when celebrity chef Richard Corrigan rubbished Irish chickens. "I wouldn't eat a chicken in Ireland full stop unless I went to a farmers' market," said the Ballivor man who famously owns the very upmarket Lindsay House in London's Soho. Not a man to mince his words, the garrulous Corrigan steamrolled through the interview. Irish chickens, particularly those on supermarket shelves are, he said, "fed muck and crap" and are full of antibiotics. If you buy one "you are committing the great offence of ignorance". Throughout the tirade, Tubridy fed Corrigan lines like a limelight-blinded chat-show host, instead of challenging his opinions with the other side of the argument (there's always another side), something that listeners to this time slot are used to when Pat Kenny is in the chair.
By Wednesday Tubridy had returned to safer ground, more typical of the programme: a half-hour long studio discussion with two guest reviewers of a book that was published two years ago.
One of our more controversial journalists, Nell McCafferty, turned up presenting what at first sight appeared to be a most unlikely programme for the Derry firebrand. But Irish Lives in Lace (BBC Radio 4, Tuesday) wasn't heavy on fashion commentary - indeed, when it came to discussing that aspect of lace, McCafferty sounded bored and impatient.
Instead, this fascinating documentary looked at lace, mostly from an historic, socio-economic perspective, and how it helped give women an income in the 18th and 19th centuries when their options were very limited. In those years, more single women emigrated to the US from Ireland than from any other country, and lace played a part in that. "Long before Leonardo diCaprio sailed to America on the Titanic," drawled McCafferty, "sisters were doing it for themselves." Making a lace panel for the front of a dress would take five solid months but, once sold, it paid a single woman's passage. It was art for a pittance, with generations of highly-skilled women working for little more than starvation wages and it still is. Sr Enda McMullan of the St Louis order in Crossmaglen, an order of nuns which has for decades promoted lacemaking, said that it is now virtually impossible to find lacemakers because the rate of pay on offer is €2 an hour.
Dr Joan O'Callaghan ("by day a practicing psychiatrist," said McCafferty, apropos of nothing at all) heads the lacemakers' guild and she bemoaned the fact that while the National Museum has boxes of beautiful, historic lace, none of it is on permanent display. Lacemaking is an art form which, this entertaining and informative programme suggested, is being largely ignored and underrated because it was made by women.
Sunday Show (RTÉ Radio 1) fans, and I am one dating back to when the great Andy O'Mahony was in the chair, will be disappointed that tomorrow's is the last show, with Marian Finucane's new weekend programmes beginning next week. Under Tom McGurk's stewardship over the last couple of years, the show, which is essentially an overview of the week's news and events, flourished with a broad variety of high-calibre guests fetching up every week to be egged on and challenged by a presenter very much on top of his game. For a growing number of listeners it was the audio version of the Sunday papers - it'll be interesting to see what formula replaces it.
