Dail Sketch:The spirit of events at Farmleigh was absent in the Dáil yesterday. Michael McDowell and his Government colleagues traded insults with the Opposition as pre-election jitters reached new heights.
The Tánaiste was standing in for Mr Ahern at the last Opposition Leaders' Questions before the Easter recess.
Enda Kenny, observing Mary Harney sitting next to Mr McDowell, remarked that the PDs had moved into primary position. He suggested it might be Mr McDowell's last time taking Opposition leaders' Questions. He then asked how Mr McDowell and his party had lived up to his "single party government/no thanks" election slogan of 2002.
"The people of Ireland chose the Government on the last occasion, not me," replied Mr McDowell.
He added that the people would elect a new government in the coming months, and he was confident they would take a long hard look at the Opposition benches and say "no thanks".
His Fianna Fáil Government colleagues were pleased. Ministers beamed. Backbenchers cheered. Donegal's Cecilia Keaveney applauded.
Suggesting a post-election oblivion scenario for Mr Kenny, the Tánaiste said he would not be in a position to put questions to either the Taoiseach or himself after the May poll.
Mr McDowell recalled the Rainbow coalition's record when "Pat Rabbitte was sitting at the high chair of the cabinet table as half-minister".
Mr Rabbitte later observed: "I might have been on the high chair at the cabinet, but there is a good chance the Tánaiste will get the high jump from the people once more, as has been his habitual record."
As Mr McDowell continued to trawl through the Rainbow's record, Mr Kenny snapped: "We do not want a history lesson from the Tánaiste." Mr McDowell ploughed on. "When asked on RTÉ Radio last Sunday what he could point to in his career in politics that was an achievement for the Irish people, Deputy Kenny said he had improved the St Patrick's Day parade."
Brian Cowen remarked: "He kept it on the same date."
Mr Kenny was not amused. Remarking that he was glad of the history lesson, he listed the problems in the health services for which, he said, Mr McDowell was partly responsible.
To chants of "hear hear" from his backbenchers, Mr Kenny said the next government would not be led by Mr Ahern and Mr McDowell.
"I am loath to interrupt that babble," said Mr McDowell. "It is because I am follically challenged that I can say the deputy is having a bad hair day."
Members of a US Congress delegation watched proceedings from the VIP gallery.
"I hope members of the delegation will find their visit to be enjoyable, successful and to our mutual benefit," said Ceann Comhairle Dr Rory O'Hanlon.
There was laughter all round.