America/Conor O'Clery: Newsreel pictures of the inauguration ball for President Eisenhower in 1956 show couples waltzing round a dance-floor. It's not like that anymore, as I found at the Stars and Stripes Ball for President George W. Bush's inauguration on Thursday evening.
Hundreds of people in tuxedos and ankle-length gowns spent most of the evening just milling around holding plastic glasses of lukewarm champagne ($10) looking for someone to talk to. There were a few political celebrities to be seen in the hangar-sized ballroom, one of six in the Washington Convention Centre.
The former nominee for homeland security, Bernie Kerick, who was bounced for nanny problems, promenaded by with a lady with the deepest cleavage in a room heaving with bare bosoms. Former homeland security chief Tom Ridge and attorney general-nominee Roberto Gonzales wandered through the crowd. Miss USA 2004, Shandi Finnessey, appeared on stage briefly to say how proud she was to be there, and went off to be proud at the Commander-in-Chief Ball, where she had officers swooning at her announcement, "I'm never going to pass up an opportunity to see so many men in uniform, and I may take one of you home tonight." It's not known if she did.
Mr Kerick and his buxom partner came by again, doing another circle in search of conversation. At 8 p.m., Vice President Dick Cheney appeared on stage and wild cheers broke out. The VP said a few words of thanks, praised the military for "defending our freedom", and announced, "I'm going to dance with my date". He then twirled Lynn Cheney a couple of times and exited sharply stage left to go to the next ball. For an hour everyone milled around once more, and a couple complained to me how they had to wait in line to clear security in the cold, which was "torture" for a woman with open-toed dance shoes. I thought it would be impolite to suggest asking Mr Gonzales for a legal opinion.
Then the Pat Dorn orchestra rose to trumpet Hail to the Chief and George and Laura Bush appeared on stage. Amid cheers and shrieks a thousand hands shot up holding digital cameras. "I meant what I said today, that freedom goes to every corner of the world," said Mr Bush, "and if you don't mind I'd like to ask the First Lady for a dance."
He took about 50 dance steps (we counted them) with Mrs Bush, who was wearing a silver and blue V-neck gown by Oscar de la Renta. The band played I Could Have Danced All Night, but the president clearly had no wish to do so and he too was gone as quickly as he arrived. He hit the other inauguration balls, with such names as Liberty and Salute to Heroes, just as smartly, greeted an estimated total of 50,000 revellers, and was back in the White House by 10.03 p.m., 1½ hours before schedule. It was officially recorded that he danced at the 10 galas that evening for exactly eight minutes and 54 seconds. Not for this president the late revels of a Bill Clinton inauguration, with the president donning shades and playing the sax. For many Republicans the balls consisted of not much more than waiting in line to check in coats, lining up for pictures against a presidential seal, crushing with other expensively-dressed patrons to get a glimpse of a dancing first (or second) couple, then queuing to get their coats back again.
Over at the Ronald Reagan Building the big draw was to be film actor and Bush fan Dennis Hopper, who was commissioned to host a concert with 1,000 guests paying anything between $1,000 and $50,000. But the star of Easy Rider was disinvited just before the event without explanation. Guests speculated it was because the organisers found out that his wife was a fund-raiser for John Kerry.
Democrats, meanwhile, consoled themselves at an inauguration party in Georgetown given by another Democratic fund-raiser, Nancy Jacobson Penn, and her pollster husband Mark Penn. Bill and Hillary Clinton were among the 300 guests in the heated tent at their home. "We're celebrating that Bush can never be elected again," Mark Penn was quoted as saying.
While the Democrats lick their wounds over their election defeat, one of their presidential candidates is still out there campaigning for office, travelling from city to city, staying in crummy hotels, eating junk food and taking part in tedious debates with rivals. Howard Dean lost the Democratic nomination but he is now vigorously campaigning for chairmanship of the National Democratic Party, which is being vacated by Terry McAuliffe. Many Democrats feel he is too liberal and unpredictable for the office, and that someone more appealing to the broad electorate should be chosen for the party's most important staff job - exactly what they said when they dumped Dean for John Kerry a year ago - and look what happened. The former Vermont governor is still a popular figure among grass roots. Who else could bring 400 people out on a winter Saturday evening in St Louis, few of whom could likely name any of his six competitors for the post? If he doesn't get it, listen for another Dean scream.
A political soap opera is likely in New York if the ambitions of two members of famous political families collide. Robert Kennedy, the environmentalist nephew of JFK, is contemplating a run for state attorney general against Andrew Cuomo, Clinton's one-time housing secretary and son of former governor Mario Cuomo. A twist: Kennedy's sister Kerry is going through a divorce with Andrew Cuomo. Given the marital split, the battle will attract intense attention from New York's tabloids. The post is a stepping stone for those with aspirations for higher office. The current attorney general, Eliot Spitzer, scourge of Martha Stewart and other corporate wrongdoers, is now running for governor of New York.
During the inauguration parade there was momentary panic when white smoke was seen billowing up under the president's limousine. It looked like a smoke grenade had been thrown. Turned out it was only steam from a ventilation shaft.
Another example of Washington hot air.